Month: April 2019

Closing Your Eyes and Jumping

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Photo by Jordan Donaldson | @jordi.d on Unsplash
Words by me (Fiona Whitehead) based on a story shared by Lisa

I do love it when someone shares more than one story with me!  Welcome back Lisa. 

Lisa told me about moving from home (and familiarity) to Australia (a country she had never even visited!). 

“Nearly 7 years ago, we packed up our family and moved to a country we had never even visited – Australia!  I had travelled many times overseas but never here – my husband and daughters had never even travelled internationally before.” 

And why would Lisa and her family take such a huge leap?  “We knew that living in our country of birth was becoming untenable and that we had to seek an opportunity to give our daughters a better life.  We knew that it would take every last cent that we had to re-establish ourselves in a new country and it was like starting all over again.” 

It wasn’t all smooth sailing with the initial plan falling through “After a great deal of investigation and work, we managed to travel here on a 457 visa through my husband being sponsored to work here.   We were originally going to Perth, and after that offer fell through, we made a last attempt to leave.  I always say that Melbourne chose us – we didn’t choose it.  When the offer came through we grabbed it.  We closed our eyes and jumped!” 

It was a tough decision for many reasons, “We were leaving behind many family members, long standing and deep friendships, very well-established and successful careers and uprooting our daughter in the middle of a school year and fairly close to the completion of her schooling journey.  We didn’t know whether financially we would make it as the exchange rate was 10/1, so we could just see our savings disappearing so quickly.” 

Even once in Melbourne there were doubts, but one special conversation laid those fears to rest: “I questioned very deeply what we had done – I missed my home, my family and friends.  The verification that we had done the right thing was when one day, on an adventure out, my daughter and I were walking through the beautiful botanical gardens.  She said to me “You know what’s so nice, Mum?”  I asked her what – she replied “That we can just walk together like this and enjoy the beauty instead of worrying about whether someone is going to jump out from behind the bush and attack us.”  It shocked me to the core – that any child would have to grow up with thoughts like that…..and in that same moment, I felt a great sense of peace knowing that we had made the right decision.” 

Would Lisa step out of her comfort zone again?  “Yes – it’s an adventure after all.  New places to see, new people to meet – I do love Melbourne and the life we’ve created here.  I think if there was a great opportunity for us to experience something different, yes I would.  The caveat to that is that I would always want to return home……to Melbourne.  And we have been extremely blessed that our new country has embraced us and allowed us to become citizens.  As a very dear friend said to me “Roots in Africa….thriving in Australia” – you can truly thrive anywhere you plant yourself if you have a positive attitude. 

“You learn about yourself – the good the bad and the ugly!  You realise that the baggage you have you take with you…..you can’t just leave it behind and pretend that it never happened….it’s part of you and you have the power to re-invent yourself over and over again.  You meet new wonderful people and create awesome memories.  You also may need to give yourself the time and the space to mourn what you’ve left behind, be grateful that you’ve experienced what you have and be positive about what new things you’re learning.” 

Thank you Lisa! 

About Lisa: 

Started as a leadership business partner on the transformation journey and ended up running the entire program.
Have worked in manufacturing, financial, consulting and telco industries for the past 25 years.
Seeing people learn and grow through their journey is absolute fuel for me.
I have been privileged to work with leaders from all walks of life and continue to be surprised and delighted 

That is where the gold is!

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Picture and words by me (Fiona Whitehead) based on an interview with Nolle

When Nolle was 19 when she moved to London, and at 23 she moved from Dublin, Ireland to Melbourne, Australia. 

She emigrated permanently with no family in Australia. 

Yep, that is sure to be well outside of a comfort zone! 

Why would she do that? “Because back then in Dublin there was very high unemployment. And it was hard to get work. There were no real opportunities and I just wanted more from life.” 

And once Nolle arrived?  “Well I was very, very homesick. I had really bad migraines. I used to cry every night with a picture of my family under my pillow. And I didn’t have any family here. I think I had a couple hundred dollars, a suitcase, and a boyfriend (he didn’t last long after I got here).” 

“And I remember thinking, what have I done. When I was in London, and I applied for a visa, I applied for a one year working holiday visa, and they sent me permanent residency. I thought they sent me the wrong papers. but I might as well apply because I can come home after a year anyway. And the year went by like that! I came home from my first visit, and I realized the grass was so much greener in Australia, so many opportunities.  

“It was great to see my family again. But I had planted the seed to definitely come back [to Australia] and I came back, and the rest is history.” 

Nolle’s next check in point was when she had children – she always planned to take them back to Ireland so she and they had family support. But once she had her children, she decided that even though things in Ireland had improved, the life she could offer them in Australia was a better one. 

“They [Nolle’s children] have a great life here. They don’t realize how lucky they are and then I feel lucky, because I know what it’s like not to have much. I couldn’t think of any more of a stretch than going from having no children to children.  Apart from apart from having my kid,s emigrating to Australia is the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

On Nolle’s first visit back to Ireland she spoke to her Mum “I said to my Mam, ‘you know, everybody, seems different’. She said ‘no, you’re the only one that’s different. They’re all the same. They’re doing the same thing day in, day out but your world is a much bigger place now, you have experienced so much more.  This made it hard for Nolle to fit back in. She also loves the much healthier and more outdoorsy lifestyle here in Australia. 

 And would Nolle step out of her comfort zone again? “Absolutely!  Because that is where the gold is. 

‘’So, when we look back at anything that’s happened to you in your life, that stretch is where you get the most reward. And even though you might have to go through difficult times to get there, that was all part of your journey. Part of your learning and you have to push yourself. You have to take that leap of faith, you have to take that risk, you have to take that stretch. 

“And this is what I tell my children. Don’t take the easy road because it seems like you might get there faster, it all about the journey” 

“Because your automatic reaction as a human being I believe is, is not to go outside your comfort zone it’s to protect yourself. Safety, mitigate against any risk. But then to actually to put yourself out there. That’s where the gold is.” 

And as always, the last word goes to my interviewee. 

“Just do it. Because ask yourself what’s the worst thing that can happen, and if you can live through the worst thing that can happen, then just do it. Why would you not? Life just goes too fast, way too fast. No regrets. I’ll use my grandmother’s saying, it’s ‘What’s for you won’t will pass you by’. 

“’What’s for you won’t pass you by’ really means that you take that leap of faith, you stretch yourself outside your comfort zone, and if it’s meant to be for you it’ll be for you and if it’s not at least you’ve had a go.  

Thanks again Nolle. 

A bit about Nolle:  
Currently working as a Business Partner Principal in the Transformation Delivery Office at Telstra. 
Background:  
Having worked in IT & Business roles spanning over 2 decades in Australia in various different sectors including Health, Media, Technology & Telecommunications  
Working primarily in the project and program space, moving into leadership and management roles and over the last few years into partnership and engagement roles  
Moving to Australia at 23, married with 5 children (blended family) loving life and all that it brings 

An 8000 metre mountain!

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Photos are from Jeannette
Story by me (Fiona Whitehead) based on Jeanette’s story

I quite literally got goose bumps hearing Jeannette’s story. 

The title of this blog may have given away the amazing achievement, but the journey is fabulous too. 

We start with when Jeanette was heading to university, in South Africa, at a time when “I’m going to go to university to find husband” was perfectly acceptable. Not for Jeannette. She got herself a Bachelor of Science (and subsequently completed 4 more degrees!). 

She received a scholarship at University which meant she then headed to the mines to work when she completed her Geology degree. After growing up in a coastal town she moved to the deep level gold mines, a step out of her comfort zone on so many levels! Some of the mines were 4km below the surface. Jeannette was often the first technical woman in the mines, and management had not even told the workers that a woman was joining them! 

“Unfortunately, it’s culturally insensitive in that geography to have women in your workplace. So by the time I’d finished my first shift on the mine, everybody had left. So I effectively created industrial action, they had a strike on the very first day of my job. So to step out of my comfort zone to do this job and then realize that I had impacted everybody in such a way has meant that probably from that grounding in my career, [I learned] to feel comfortable around change, but also realize what impact different change elements can have.” 

Jeannette has since then firmly established her presence within the global mining industry. 

From the deep earth, Jeannette has another passion – high altitude mountaineering. 

Jeanette had one of those moments where she realised her life had become sedentary and she decided to get moving. With her previous mountaineering experience, rather than start jogging or going to the gym, she decided to climb an 8000 metre high mountain! 

The preparation can be equated to preparing for an Olympic Games.  

There are fourteen 8000m mountains in the world, the most recognisable being Mt Everest. 

“All of them go into the death zone. All of them involve using oxygen. All of them involve going through an ice fall. So all the quintessential things that you see in the newspaper around Everest, you have to tackle on any of the 8000 metre mountains. So for a weekend warrior, and a corporate desk jockey like myself, of those fourteen 8000 metre mountains about five of them are realistic for somebody who has a full time job and running a P&L for Telstra. So I picked one of those mountains (it wasn’t Everest for variety of reasons). But yeah, I picked my 8000 meter mountain and I went to Manaslu in 2015 to climb it. 

“Unfortunately, however, one of our Sherpas fell into a crevasse and was injured. Our oxygen was stuck on the high side of it.  And an avalanche just missed my tent. So there was a lot of danger on the mountain that season and I did not successfully climb the Manaslu. So I came back down the mountain.” 

And then “I was offered the job at Telstra, I relocated internationally, I came to Australia. I got sucked into the world of running Telstra Mining Services.” 

But that is not the end. “After working without any leave for 18 months, I actually got asked, what do you do for balance in your life? And I said, well, I have no balance because I’m focusing on running Telstra Mining Services. So yeah, it was encouraged that I go and do my hobby.” 

Jeannette explained that her training was not really confined to weekends, but she was able to be flexible with work to enable her to meet her obligations and get back into training again. 

And 5 years after setting her original goal, Jeannette reached the summit! 

“In September of last year I got to a point where after five years of trying and five years of training and five years of balancing work and jobs and everything I left base camp for my summit push on the 8000 meter mountain. It takes five days. Everything from five years was now distilled down to the next five days.  So on the 28th of September I got up from my tent at 1.30 in the morning, put on the oxygen, all of that, and left base camp.  I walked for five hours during the night and got to the full summit (and then stood in line unfortunately). 

“At nine o’clock on the 28th of September, I became the very first South African woman ever to climb this 8000 meter mountain.  

“The opportunity to look at the world from that elevation and just reflect on how standing there was so far out of my comfort zone. Because, you know, physically it’s in the death zone, you’re on oxygen, the impact that breathing oxygen is having on your body, your brain cells are dying every minute at that altitude. So all of its physically out of one’s comfort zone, but also mentally, the fact that I went from being in a sedentary space to achieving this physical accomplishment, but also stepping out of my comfort zone in terms of standing up for myself and my interest from a work impact perspective.” 

Not surprisingly “Now that I reflect on it, when it’s not five months ago that I did this, if I allow myself to think about it, I do still have a huge amount of pride in myself.” 

Advice for others stepping out of their comfort zone from Jeannette considers breaking goals down into doable pieces.  

“Doing your homework, going online googling, finding a company, finding a friend that will do it with you. It’s really about breaking down something that will push you out of your comfort zone into manageable chunks, and you don’t have to do it the very next day. You can do it at a pace which is going to be comfortable to yourself but nevertheless give yourself a deadline. You know, by the end of the summer I’m going to have been in a sea kayak down the Yarra.” 

“It’s always exciting to be able to be bold and brave and find things that are going to take you out of your comfort zone because only by stretching one’s comfort zone that’s a personal growth occurs and but achieving personal growth you can actually be a better person for your family or friends and ultimately yourself.” 

Thank you Jeannette for sharing your amazing story. 

About Jeannette:

As one of the Global 100 Inspirational Women in Mining (WiMUK) Jeannette is a proven leader with an excellent understanding of the entire mining value chain. Experience obtained both on underground and surface mines, encompasses large and small-scale exploration and production in a variety of commodities and geographies. She has been leading technology programs for Tier 1 producers and is a recognized thought leader on technology disruption for the mining sector. She is currently responsible for Telstra’s critical communications portfolio and associated P&L providing mine site connectivity in private LTE through Telstra Mining Services.

Furthermore through her mountaineering and mining achievements she spends time with local communities in Nepal and Tanzania and is keen to support technology deployments to enhance community development.

Coming out of your shell

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Photo by Mohamed Maail on Unsplash
Words by Fiona Whitehead based on an interview with Anju

Anju described to me her experience of her protective ‘shell’ actually locking her in as much as it locked others out. I think this is something many people can relate to, and I am pleased to be able to share her experience. 

Anju starts by sharing what happened when she allowed someone in “If I was to be in my comfort zone, lazy, coy or suspicious that day, I would have lost on an immensely delightful tete-a-tete. We just chitchatted for hours, talking about books, ideas, randomness and life. There was absolutely no agenda and yet imprinted a mark in my retention as well.”  

“Unfortunately, most of the time we’re haunted by inexplicable complexes and don’t give ourselves permission to fail.”  

Anju talks to people often, but fear can stop her allowing people to get close. “I network a lot, always out there bonding with strangers, driving for what I believe. But even I had my complexes, being an Indian woman I’ve been trained so well that if someone is being pleasant or nice randomly, there HAS to be a hidden whoopla. No-one can be nice to you for the sake of humanity or pleasantness. No! Life can’t be so simple, Come-on! Let’s complicate it and dig into the hidden agenda. If there’s none- create one in your own imagination.” 

What brought Anju out of her defensive shell? 

“Being in your own comfort zone is good but coming out of it open new opportunities.  Carelessness can hurt but not trusting hurts a lot more. I would rather take a few odds and get hurt sometimes rather than missing out on so many curious encounters in the fear of going wrong. Sometimes, the most unexpected conversations and people can bring a brand new feeling of joy into your life 

“This fear of everyone being a Romeo around is strong enough to deprive most people from having a good time. I know in my experience that my smile has been taken as a tinder right swipe. But I anyway don’t deprive myself of that 1% happy experience by some may be bad experience. I was never comfortable trusting strangers, I had an invisible boundary ‘laxman rekha’ around me and my white blood cells would just reject every advancing object. Trust me it has taken me nowhere.” 

I always ask what advice people have for others considering stepping out of their comfort zone, and Anju had wise words to share. “My advice to the readers is when you have nothing to take-away from a conversation, no-one to judge you for what you said and no clue of what you are talking about- what you get is flashes of peace and thoughts to carry for times to come. It makes you confident in some ways too. I can’t pick a motive and say why, but it gives some sense of security. Maybe, the surprise that there’s so much more to explore.  

“Next time, maybe you could just give yourself permission to fail and go with the flow and engage with a person for the joy of their company. Irrespective of their age, sex and social status. Let the intent be pure indulgence- in the moment-in a conversation-for the joy of exploring someone’s world through a magical journey of words-making the rendezvous truly memorable” 

Thank you Anju. 

A bit about Anju:

I’m from India and moved to Australia 3 years back. I have worked with traditional Telco, Marketing and now with Telstra security consulting.  

I’m a diversity champion and also a cohort of BCTW (Brilliant connected Technical women). I’m associated with STEM – PTech programs with schools, encouraging young talent to be in Technology.  

I love sketching, painting, socialising. Be it life, clothes or a power point presentation- I love adding some colours. When not working I’m a voice over artist and emcee as well. 

From summit to singing bowl

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Photo by Eneko Uruñuela on Unsplash
Words by Fiona Whitehead

What an amazing week I have had, with parts a long way out of my comfort zone, but mostly surrounded by amazing women!

I will focus on the parts that were out of my comfort zone – after all that is the theme of the blog – but please be aware that the majority of the week was like a snuggly, warm hug.

A little out of my comfort zone was attending the SheEO Australia Summit in Sydney on Monday.  A room full of women all with a common set of goals (#radicalgenerosity along with creating companies and products that improve the world we live in) is never going to be uncomfortable, but for me spending 10 hours with people I don’t know is not something I usually seek out. In this case I am so glad I did!

A little further from my comfort zone was putting up my hand during the #ask session to request more people to share their stories with me for this blog.  I can’t wait to share the results with you all, but asking was hard! I felt embarrassed and awkward, but got a great response so it was worth it!

On Tuesday I drove nearly 1000km from Sydney to visit a friend on the NSW north coast. Not really uncomfortable, just different. I find driving long distances on my own weirdly zen.

Fast forward to Friday and I was at a yoga retreat, something I did the same time last year, and did not think that I would find myself out of my comfort zone at all… next time I should read the schedule more carefully!

Some background for you – I struggle a lot with rhythm and tone. Someone once tried to teach me the drums when I was young and kept telling me to hit the drum with the beat of the song playing… I thought I was! A 6-year-old gave up on me playing guitar hero with her after trying me on all instruments and me failing entirely to stay on beat. Someone once asked if I was singing along to the same song they could hear playing in the car – my version sounded so different. Anyway, you get the context.

On Friday afternoon I joined my very first positive music circle (think drum circle but with more instruments)! When asked my goal for the session I just wanted to be more accepting of my lack of rhythm. I think trepidation is the best way to describe my initial feeling!

I started gently by picking an instrument I felt I could do little damage with – a frog with a ridged back and a stick to run along the ridges. And I found myself having fun! Even when we had to replace the instrument sound with a vocal version. I wandered around the room happily with my little frog. Even doing a fairly enthusiastic ‘woo’ after each 5 beats. Then we sat down again and I found myself with a drum. And I decided just to go for it. We were repeatedly told that there were no wrong notes, which gave me a lot of comfort. I won’t say I was the core of the music we created, but I was definitely contributing! And more importantly having a fabulous time!

Then the really interesting instruments came out. I played a wha wha tube, a happy drum, and eventually a singing bowl. At this stage (the end of the session) everyone was just playing and adding to the music however they wished. The facilitator then began slowly stopping instruments one by one. Until there was just me with my singing bowl and some bells. Then it was just me. I was making music. On my own. Not hiding in a group.

I cried tears of joy as I finished off our session.

I may have to find myself a music circle.

A relatable fear – public speaking!

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Photo by Filippo Ruffini on Unsplash
Words by Fiona Whitehead based on an interview with another Fiona

Fiona shared with me a story of an experience many people dread – presenting to an audience. And I am going to start with her ‘last words’. “I was speaking candidly with one of our Telstra Directors recently, who is a woman I really admire and value her leadership qualities.  We were talking about speaking in public and even she admitted she gets nervous every time she speaks in front of people.  We spoke about how it makes us feel and how we can overcome the challenges to deliver the messages we are needing to deliver.  So goes to show – even our leaders feel the same as us.” 

I have a similar experience (as well as a similar name!) when several years ago a panel of speakers at an International Women’s Day event shared their shared fear of public speaking – one to the point of nausea! 

In Fiona’s example she had to present to both her senior leaders and the people ‘on the ground’ about the work she was doing. Fiona had many stakeholders wanting to know about her work, a project that continually changed direction, and operational teams who would not hold back on sharing feedback. “I think I was more nervous delivering to the operational teams than to senior leaders – because it’s the people on the ground who understand what needs to be done and will not let any stone unturned.” 

It was important to get this right as she had to ensure everyone involved was on board with the changes.  

As with many things, preparation was key “I had prepared well thinking of all the types of questions I might be asked but in the end I was asked very few. [It] went much better than I had played it out in my head.” 

I think Fiona’s feelings throughout this process are very relatable “Prior to the session I was nervous, plus I was last on the agenda so I had to wait for everyone else to present and talk about their streams which had generated a lot of discussion.  During the presentation I was not really thinking about how I was feeling – because I was talking about my work. Which I knew well so could articulate the information back to the stakeholders.  At the end I felt relief it was over.” 

“As hard as it was, I would definitely step outside my comfort zone again.  I don’t think it gets easier but the feeling you get after the fact (when it goes well) is like a high better than any drug can provide.” 

Fiona has fabulous advice for anyone considering stepping out of their comfort zone: 

“Take a leap of faith and give it go.  No one knows what you are feeling on the inside unless you let them see it.  No one gets stronger sitting still in the corner.” 

About Fiona: 

Background about why presenting my project was out of my comfort zone – was mostly because it’s an ever changing environment in the Digitisation world where the project goal posts are constantly on the move and nothing is stable.  So trying to develop a project to deliver within a really tight timeframe and communicate it without displaying any of the doubts and fears I have to delivering that project – is a challenge.  The senior leaders were mostly ok about the changing goal posts because they are often kept up to date with the changes as they happen, but the operational teams are not and these are the guys being impacted by the processes and instructions I deliver.  So there is a huge amount of pressure for our team to deliver this well.