I talk about my summary of achievements for the quarter and a meeting where the group I coach made my heart sing with their enthusiasm for improvement.
Month: June 2020
Starting my blog!
I often get asked about writing this blog – how I got started, why I got started, how I find people to interview.
So today I am going to write about some of those things.
I started the blog due to several questions that all led to a blog being the answer.
Firstly, I was on the possible redundancy list at work and someone on LinkedIn suggested that if I lost my job, I could go on the speaking circuit talking about agile and software testing. I was horrified! Not at public speaking, that appealed, but at talking about software testing which I had only recently moved on from after years of trying to move in a different direction. That got me thinking about what I could talk about. The only thing I felt passionate enough about at the time was (you guessed it!) ‘stepping out of your comfort zone’. But I didn’t think there would be an audience.
Secondly, I had some time off after some surgery and did a lot of reading. This included some books by Dorie Clark on networking for introverts as well as ways of standing out from the crowd – they included blogging as a way of making a name for yourself and asking people to be interviewed as a way of networking. But again, I had no subject to write about.
The last pieces of the puzzle came together in a conversation after a Christmas BBQ in 2018. A friend who was on the public speaking circuit himself told me that there would most definitely be an audience for the topic of ‘stepping out of your comfort zone’. We also discussed that writing a blog would give me content for speaking as well as a level of being an ‘authority’ on the topic.
Out of those events the thought came to me: ‘What if I wrote a blog about stepping out of your comfort zone, and instead of just my own stories I asked others to share theirs?’
My first step was to ask people if I they would share their stories. And was blown away by the number of people who said yes – keeping in mind that at this stage the blog did not exist! I also wrote a few of my own stories ready to post.
I decided I needed at least 10 blogs ready to post before I started, so if I got busy at work, I always had a backlog. I started off with such a backlog that I posted twice weekly for a while – a decision I regretted when the interviewees dried up.
Technically – I googled how to start a blog. I bought my domain name and set up a wordpress site. A dear friend agreed to do my artwork. That part did not take long and was not expensive. I did make some mistakes. I chose the wrong hosting platform initially (wrong as in their inclusions were poor and their help desk was really a sales desk). Trying to switch hosting platforms after buying a domain name from them made things more complicated than they needed to be.
The last area, and still the one I struggle with the most is finding people to interview! I ask on various platforms and I send direct requests (less often as that often involves making people feel bad if they say no). Sometimes people come to me either via referrals (thank you to all those who have referred someone!!) or they approaching me directly after reading my blog. I am open to suggestions as to how to do that part more effectively. These days I never seem to have a huge backlog!
I get joy in every single story I hear – regardless of whether it is a more relatable step out of the comfort zone or something ambitious and unattainable to most. I laugh and cry as I interview people, or just empathise strongly. I don’t ask a heap of questions; I prefer to let people talk with a few questions to help them tell their story.
I hope that answers your questions – and don’t forget to let me know if you have a story to share with me!
Coaching vlog #28
In which I talk more AMAT, a potential new assignment and performance reviews in a matrix structure
Understand your why
Image by me.
Brian didn’t feel that stepping out of his comfort zone was a choice. He had reached a point in his life where his high-powered career was costing him physically, emotionally and mentally. He had a tipping point at an international airport, and the story he shared is what happened after that.
As a little back story – Brian moved to Australia with his family as a transfer for the company he was working for in South Africa. Shortly after he arrived the dotcom crash meant he had to close his division! He continued on for 12 months before moving to an IT security business where he moved from ops director to COO to being part of running the Asian arm of the company. By this point he was away more than home, and this was having an impact on his relationships with his family and others.
It was sitting in Bangalore airport that Brian found himself silently crying – pointed out to him by a stranger! “And I’m embarrassed to say that I now realize I was having an emotional breakdown in Bangalore airport. And that I was living an unaligned and therefore unsustainable life. I was getting paid a lot of money but I was disconnected from family and friends. I was unhealthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and it just all came to a head.”
Brian feels that, since then, the next 12 years has included two parallel journeys – one above the line and one below the line. The below the line journey was about better understanding his struggle with anxiety and depression and being able to manage ‘it’, rather than ‘it’ continuing to manage him. The above the line journey was all about “becoming the person I was designed to be. We all are unique. And it’s about really trying to understand how that all comes together into some sort of uniqueness”. This above the line journey has led to Brian becoming an ‘Alignment and Movement Strategist’.
Some of Brian’s above the line journey was accidental. An offer of a senior position at a big company fell through at the last minute. Taking that job would have led to a different outcome “I don’t think I would have survived. I know it wasn’t right for me.
“Increasingly though, I am living a life of increased intentionality, and a lot of what I help my clients to do is live more intentionally too.”
Six years ago, Brian started his own practice, as an Alignment and Movement Strategist, and has not looked back!
His advice for anyone planning – or being forced – to move out of their comfort zone?
“Don’t do it alone. And be kind to yourself.”
Brian also reflected on using what you have experienced rather than always looking forward: “I find that leaders live in the future. It’s part of why they get paid. They’re thinking about what’s coming, what’s happening, preparing themselves, their teams, their business for the future. I think the mindfulness movement has been quite helpful in slowing people down and being more present. However, an area that I think leaders tend not to go is the past. Yet so much learning in the past. Take the time to learn from it.”
“If someone’s wanting to step out of their comfort zone I would love to explore why. And I would say what they want probably has something to do with their backstory and the past”.
“For me part of the intentionality thing is, what is it you are moving away from and what are you moving towards? And appreciating what you have now.”
Brian finished with some last words that I loved: “Really engage with your why!”
A little about Brian:
Brian describes himself an Alignment and Movement Strategist – working as a Mentor, an Executive Coach, a Facilitator, and is passionate about helping both organisations and individuals, operate in a more aligned, more sustainable and therefore more effective manner, with a strong sense of movement in the ‘right’ direction.
New Horizons
Words by me based on an interview with Priyani
30 years after migrating to Australia, Priyani headed off once more to accept a 2 year assignment in Thailand!
“Having delivered some quite large projects, the region headquarters asked me to come and do kind of similar work over there. And I thought this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, also to be recognised for having done something felt good . And that was one. Number two was I was coming out of a very difficult and traumatic personal experience. So it was an opportunity for me to move away to a different environment as well.”
Priyani didn’t have much time to think about the big decision – after 2 years of discussion the announcement came while she was travelling overseas, and she had less than a month to move once she found out!
There were so many things to love about living in Thailand – from an apartment from where she could see the office (a very short commute!) to “The office environment was really refreshing. It was even fascinating that it was the same company here. It is a very refreshing culture also, probably because I was coming from the backdrop of very high intensity project delivery, 13 – 14-hour days, working weekends. All of that is very fast paced, very intense, So that was fabulous. Thai people are just absolutely lovely, but we also had about 14 different nationalities working in the office, so it was nice. It was a really good balance. And, I just loved it. I was able to get involved with a few groups outside work and expand my network and volunteer. So many women “expats” and locals who have become really good friends.”
Solo travel was something Priyani also embraced while in Thailand, northern Thailand was special and brought fond memories of growing up in the hill country. Being brave and getting around solo in unfamiliar surrounds was liberating and gave her more confidence. She built on that by taking a longer holiday alone through Spain which gave her time for personal discovery and reflection but also expanded her boundaries around exploring, doing “her own thing”, finding a “safe spot” that was right for her.
Aside from discovering her strength and courage, Priyani loved how much she learned in this role “the actual work was completely outside my comfort zone. The people I dealt with were much more senior level. I designed and delivered an online training program across seven countries for over 3000 employees within three months! I didn’t know the topic to begin with, I had to study the whole policy from the word go. There were a lot of natural roadblocks – we had to deliver it in three languages, access for everyone to the online platform. It’s fascinating because especially in the Asia Oceania region, there’s so many different cultures. Every country is a different culture and a different language. So again, totally outside the comfort zone, huge learnings, and I really am grateful.”
Priyani has advice for anyone considering stepping out of their comfort zone “Take a risk – you never know what is on the other side”
“I think for me, taking those risks is what has helped. That not being afraid or being worried because sometimes it’s not fear – it’s just about those niggling doubts. It may not be perfect but put your head out of comfort and get in the zone!
“It’s just opened up fabulous opportunities, amazing horizons that I hadn’t seen before.
“I am grateful for the support that was behind be, with me and ahead of me that helped me learn and grow.”
Thank you Priyani!
Coaching vlog #27
Fresh off the press this time!!
Reorg, pneumonia, and what value I can add as a coach.
Coaching vlog #26
Another late posting – this is 3 weeks old with another one to post today!