Have you ever wanted a do-over?

Rhea took advantage of a second shot at University to do just that!

Please see below Rhea’s answers to my questions about her experience.

Tell me about a time you stepped out of your comfort zone?

In 2015 I re-entered University to get a second shot at my first year. A series of crises in the previous year forced me to take an unexpected hiatus, but since most people don’t get do-overs and second chances, I decided to use it as an opportunity to better myself and grow out of this shy persona I had cultivated for myself. I privately made a resolution to myself that I was going to initiate a conversation with at least 5 people and try to exchange phone numbers. 

Why did you do it?

Back in high-school, I found myself getting increasingly shyer and it was beginning to cripple me. It slowly began to erode my self-confidence and affected how I presented myself. I walked hunched over with my head down, arms crossed over my chest and with my voice thin to a permanent whisper. I wanted to take the first steps to improve myself, and since University was a fresh start, I thought that was the perfect opportunity. I realize now that this manner of presenting myself was just a reflection of the inner turmoil I was experiencing.

What was the outcome?

It was not only a big step for me that made me feel accomplished, but it got easier each time. It was through that experience that I met my longstanding best friend through Uni, Beth. Of course, much of the relationships I initially began fizzled out naturally. But since I was able to initiate far more than the 5 that I set out to do, I was able to meet so many people and begin many new friendships.

How did you feel before, during and after?

Before taking the very first step, I was obviously afraid. The thought of being soundly rejected repeated itself in my head and initially made my anxiety much worse. But I pushed through anyways. I started small, practicing putting myself at ease in conversation, not answering with one-word answers and asking follow-ups that would continue conversation. Most importantly, when a conversation was cut off short and those feelings of rejection began creeping up, I reminded myself not to take it personally and just continue accomplishing my goal. It got easier to do as time went on because whenever anxiety started rearing its ugly head, I simply reminded myself of all the times I was successful, and that voice of doubt was immediately disproven. After all was said and done, I felt immensely proud of myself. I was proud of the fact that I was able to see something in myself and—rather than beat myself up for it— work to improve it.  

Would you step out of your comfort zone again? Why? (Or why not?)

I would absolutely do it again. I still consider myself quite shy, even though a lot of people think of me as confident. I’ve found the feedback I’ve gotten quite reaffirming as well. My ultimate goal in life is to be absolutely fearless and try most things that scare me, and there’s no way to accomplish that without stepping out of my comfort zone every now and then. I even managed to take the stage to sing for some open mic nights during University. That isn’t something I’d come close to doing had I not taken that initial small step.

What did you learn from being out of your comfort zone?

The experience taught me that many of my fears were overblown. Even if I did experience the “downsides” like rejection, it wasn’t as bad as my imagination made it seem and I’d feel much worse never having tried. Not trying felt like giving up on myself and reaffirmed that negative perception I had of myself. Stepping out of my comfort zone was my way of telling myself that I fundamentally don’t believe my negative qualities exist and that I know I’m fully capable of trying at the very least. 

What advice would you give to someone considering stepping out of their comfort zone?

Break up a big goal into small steps. If your resolution is to do a standup routine on open mic night, think of all the smaller skills that entails: being able to speak in crowds, being able to deliver your thoughts confidently, thinking on your feet, not taking bombing personally. Building up these smaller skills will make accomplishing the next thing you set out to do much easier, and it culminates in the ability to conquer larger tasks that used to faze you.

Rhea Henry now works as a copy writer for sites like Rank-It.ca and hopes to someday publish her own work.