What if you had spent so much of your life outside your comfort zone that your challenge was in settling back into being comfortable?

Meet Monica!

Up until the age of 13 Monica had an idyllic life. One of 8 children with two great parents she was perfectly happy. And then her father passed away suddenly. On the surface life didn’t change, other than missing her dad.

Monica found herself becoming the ‘clever, naughty kid’ after that. “I adopted this persona of always being outside the comfort zone, always being rebellious.”

Monica balanced jobs and school from ages 14 to 17, and then decided to take a gap year as she had no idea what direction to take next. Career advice was varied and not useful!

After finding herself working 5 jobs in Cairns, a push from her mum had her moving back to the city and getting a job at a trading house – the start of something wonderful for Monica!

“And it was just the dynamism of this really complicated global working environment a whole new language to learn – bills of lading, 90cl, futures, phytosanitary certificates, regulations and steamship owners that were German. Russian and Pacific Islanders. It was an interesting process, and I went to work as a shipping clerk.”

Monica describes one of her key attributes as curiosity, which combined with an ability to make friends and retain information had her soon selected to be part of an international fast track program!

“That just then opened up a whole world! This month, you’re going to go to Singapore, and you’re going to learn about our insurance business. Next month, you’re going to go to Hamburg and you’re going to have learn how we manage our asset fleet of breakbulk ships, or every variety of ships and how many ports we own around the world. You are going to learn the economics of the cattle/beef industry, from paddock to burger. As a 22-year-old kid I just soaked all this up.”

Monica’s career went from strength to strength, a combination of confidence and talent seeing her succeed in whatever she set her mind to. She moved from Brisbane to Perth to Sydney and then to New York as part of her career progression.

For 8 years in US she thrived then as she turned 30 she reflected on her next step and incidentally started to meet women 10 years older and whilst “successful” in their careers and earnings they were unhappy. That was the first trigger in her decision to come home to Australia, but there was more “I think something sat with me from meeting those all the women and I got a glimpse of my future self.

“I actually got sick because I’ve flown a lot and I picked up a virus, I think on a trip back from South America. And I remember I flew into Miami and was feeling just not quite well. I went to whoever the doctor was according to our health plan, and before I knew it, they put me into the ICU because what I’d actually picked up was a viral infection in my heart muscle.”

It was not long after that Monica moved home to Brisbane and moved in with her mum, who sadly passed away 4 months later.

Monica struggled to get a job in Brisbane – a recruiter suggested her experience and her New York accent may have been intimidating to the branch offices in that smaller city – but instead of moving to a bigger city Monica embarked on an MBA – and 2 years later topped the Dean’s list. Another year on she married a pilot and move to Dubai where she embarked on another 9-year adventure in Arabic foreign wealth funds.

Her marriage lasted a decade and she moved back to her beloved Brisbane in 2012.  “The divorce gave me cause to reflect.”

Monica shared with me at this stage that if it is work related, she has no issue solving problems, but struggled more with being uncomfortable / vulnerable on a personal level.

“One of my brothers suffers with bipolar. In the last five years, I took my brother in and he came to live with me. And I started to get a real appreciation of mental illness as an illness not as something that people should just get over.

“I got the understanding of just how cruel and hurtful people going through both ends of that cycle are. I felt useless. I just felt like it was something I couldn’t fix. And that really, for a long while, it really affected me. And it took me a while to develop a mindset about removing all my unconscious bias that it was about my brother. It’s not just get out of bed and do something. That’s my method. That’s not healing. 

“It took me a long while but I’ve reframed my whole mindset around, this is an illness. And if he had cancer, I would be there in a heartbeat with whatever it needed done. And so I just had to accept it was something out of my control, and I had to manage it. Like I would manage the volatility of the marketplace, and say, whatever version of my brother turns up today, I’ll be okay. I think that was helpful. And that’s helped me a lot more in this last phase of my career. Because I think now, I’m much more of a humanist.”

And Monica’s advice to others about stepping out of their comfort zone?

“It’s hard, but you can’t let it disable you. I would implore them to go to a time where the first experience has been discomfort, like when they learn to drive, the first time you ever get behind the wheel of a car, you think you’re never going to be able to do this. The first time you go out for a run, you think I’ll never be able to run more than 20 minutes. The first time you touch a computer, are you ever going to be able to type? I think there’s lots of examples in our lives where we’ve had discomfort, but we just work our way through it. And for me, I think turning up is 90% of the game. So turn up”

Great advice Monica!

“More concerned about the success of others than their own personal gain” are the words that caught Julie’s attention in the job ad, and I am not surprised as that describes her accurately! 

The fact that Julie was living in San Francisco and the ad was posted by a friend in London about a job in Sydney, it was all too far fetched? However, the idea of getting the job had Julie dreaming about Sydney summers. Quickly followed by ‘who do I think I am? I can’t do this. I’ve never been a tech founder. I’ve worked in start-ups, but you’re crazy.’ 

Serendipitously, Julie then read an HBR article about men applying for jobs when they only have 2 of the 10 criteria, so she decided to at least have the conversation. And ignore the imposter syndrome rearing it’s ugly head. 

Julie has a name for her ‘imposter voice’. I think we all have that voice that says we are not good enough? Julie has named hers Beatrice. Well, Julie quietened Beatrice by taking things one step at a time. ‘You know what, I’m still going to have this conversation. I’m going to talk to Annie. I wasn’t really looking to move or take this job and I was just having the conversation. So, I just kept saying yes, and here I am. 

‘Annie flew me down here [Sydney] when I had my interview. She turned on all the works. It was January so the sun was out. We walked from downtown to Rose Bay and I went stand up paddle boarding in the bay with the Harbour Bridge behind me crystal blue water. She flew me up to Brisbane and I met with Steve Baxter aka Shark of Shark Tank, I had no idea who he was.  

I just decided to show up as myself. We were talking about investing in start-ups and I said “there’s market-based solutions for social impact. We can we can do good and make money at the same time.” And again I did not know Steve Baxter at that point. And I couldn’t understand why everyone was on the edge of their seats hanging on my every word! Steve said “No, no, no, we make our money first, then we give it away”. Which was fine. I’m glad that I showed up in what I believe but also knew not to have continuing argument with him. Steve and I are good friends now.’ 

This was not the first (or last) time Julie stepped out of her comfort zone! Julie helped set up the Salesforce Foundation after meeting Marc Benioff and making such an impression with her advice about his plans that he offered her the role! She moved from Atlanta, where she had been a student, teacher and technology specialist over the span of 12 years, to San Francisco based on the regrets she would have if she didn’t. ‘There is nothing I have to lose’. 

Julie has found that being around the right type of people and energy is really important to her resilience but learning to not try and control things and focusing on seeing the glass as half full help her to bounce back when she finds herself ‘curling up’. 

I asked Julie what drives her to step out of her comfort zone, and her answer was as beautifully original as she is ‘Knowing that there’s support and trying new things. Creating new synapses. Being able to be creative and try that try new things. Being unique. Trying to be the only one doing it so I’m not compared to anyone else. So you don’t have to have that judging. And not being afraid to ask…..’ 

‘When I was in school I was a technology specialist in the middle school. I was the only tech specialist in that school amongst all the teachers. You couldn’t really compare me to anyone else. That’s maybe a safety mechanism. I’m protecting myself. There’s no other bar. I have to set the bar.’ 

I think that is fabulous motivation for trying something new! 

Julie finished off with her passion about celebrating failure. 

‘I’ve become more comfortable [with failure] and when I do talks I get people to be more comfortable with the little tiny mistakes and being okay not to be judged. Think about your body when you make a mistake and what happens – you physically curl up and you change your whole body. Think about times when you won a race or completed something – your body goes big. 

‘It’s a totally different feeling and you can move on and continue. So, next time when you make a mistake how crazy and odd would it be to trick your body into celebrating and throw your arms wide open? It is counterintuitive, but if you physically celebrate your failures you feel differently about them and are more able to go on.’ 

Thank you so much Julie for sharing your story and viewpoint. 

Victoria steps out of her comfort zone a lot. Ranging from big things to small things. We chatted about some of her experiences. 

Seven and a half years ago she moved from the UK to Australia with her husband and their baby. “I guess it was a huge risk because we both had good jobs [and] we owned two homes in the UK, so we could quite easily have just stayed where we were. But we weren’t 100% happy with life and the lifestyle that we had.” 

Their attitude was “Just give it a go. Just try it. What’s the worst that can happen? You move back to the UK and it was hard.” 

Victoria is not a thrill seeker, or an adrenaline junkie, but she feels it is important to step out of her comfort zone in order to learn and grow. 

She also spoke to me about moving out of a role and company she loved, a place where she was very comfortable. “Then Kloud came along and talked about [all this] new technology … and the culture just sounded amazing. 

‘’I thought ‘well I’ve been doing my nice job for a while I could stay doing my nice job or I can take a risk and go through that whole setting yourself up again in a new company’ … I thought about it for maybe half a day and then I’m like ‘Yeah let’s do it, jump in.’” 

“Why did I jump in? Part of me was thinking about the future and future proofing. Technology is changing. And if you don’t change you get left behind. Yeah, I don’t want to do that. 

“Part of it was about changing. And part of it was about getting to try a new culture. Kloud, although being part of Telstra, it still has its own little micro culture, which is still very much like a start-up or a small new company. So, the to get the opportunity to be a part of that culture as well was enticing for me. Being able to use the experience that I gained elsewhere and bring that to Kloud … then develop it in a slightly different way, that was probably the reason why I did it. I just am a firm believer that we have to grow, we have to develop … otherwise you’re not growing you’re dying.” 

Victoria gets through her ‘out of the comfort zone’ feelings (which include feeling sick to the stomach!) with lots of self-coaching. “There’s a lot of reminding yourself what is the outcome that you want to achieve? Why am I doing this? What do I want to learn? Who do I want to meet [at monthly meetings which include networking]? You know that every time I do it, I do it for a reason. I don’t do it just for the thrill because I don’t look for the thrill. But I’ll do it to learn something.” 

Victoria doesn’t forget what she left behind when she stepped out of her comfort zone either “What I’ve also done is I’ve made a conscious effort to still stay in touch with people I used to work with, so I haven’t lost them. I think it’s good to not be too gung ho all the time, but also look back and appreciate the things that have taken you along the way, [things] that you’ve done along the way. Don’t take them for granted and just sort of stay in touch with people and stuff like that.” 

And Victoria’s last words? 

“Everything I do I do with an intent. I started a new business with the intention of building a better future for my family. I moved a country with the intention of making a better life for me and my family and move jobs with a view to improve my employment, and prospective future and to challenge myself … have a reason why you’re doing it and have faith in your ability to do it. 

“Always push yourself outside your comfort zone every day, because each time you do it’s like a muscle. Each time you put yourself outside your comfort zone, it gets a little easier and you grow a bit more and you learn a bit more. And you just develop as a human in all areas of your life. If you are scared, if you stay in the safe zone, nothing ever changes. 

Do it all the time, every day as much as you can get outside of your comfort zone. Because that is where the magic happens.” 

A bit about Victoria: 

Victoria is an experienced Service Delivery Manager with 20 years in the IT industry. Primarily, this experience is across the Financial Services industry however, Victoria has also supported clients within the Media, Oil and Legal sectors and understands the nuances between industries.