Anju described to me her experience of her protective ‘shell’ actually locking her in as much as it locked others out. I think this is something many people can relate to, and I am pleased to be able to share her experience. 

Anju starts by sharing what happened when she allowed someone in “If I was to be in my comfort zone, lazy, coy or suspicious that day, I would have lost on an immensely delightful tete-a-tete. We just chitchatted for hours, talking about books, ideas, randomness and life. There was absolutely no agenda and yet imprinted a mark in my retention as well.”  

“Unfortunately, most of the time we’re haunted by inexplicable complexes and don’t give ourselves permission to fail.”  

Anju talks to people often, but fear can stop her allowing people to get close. “I network a lot, always out there bonding with strangers, driving for what I believe. But even I had my complexes, being an Indian woman I’ve been trained so well that if someone is being pleasant or nice randomly, there HAS to be a hidden whoopla. No-one can be nice to you for the sake of humanity or pleasantness. No! Life can’t be so simple, Come-on! Let’s complicate it and dig into the hidden agenda. If there’s none- create one in your own imagination.” 

What brought Anju out of her defensive shell? 

“Being in your own comfort zone is good but coming out of it open new opportunities.  Carelessness can hurt but not trusting hurts a lot more. I would rather take a few odds and get hurt sometimes rather than missing out on so many curious encounters in the fear of going wrong. Sometimes, the most unexpected conversations and people can bring a brand new feeling of joy into your life 

“This fear of everyone being a Romeo around is strong enough to deprive most people from having a good time. I know in my experience that my smile has been taken as a tinder right swipe. But I anyway don’t deprive myself of that 1% happy experience by some may be bad experience. I was never comfortable trusting strangers, I had an invisible boundary ‘laxman rekha’ around me and my white blood cells would just reject every advancing object. Trust me it has taken me nowhere.” 

I always ask what advice people have for others considering stepping out of their comfort zone, and Anju had wise words to share. “My advice to the readers is when you have nothing to take-away from a conversation, no-one to judge you for what you said and no clue of what you are talking about- what you get is flashes of peace and thoughts to carry for times to come. It makes you confident in some ways too. I can’t pick a motive and say why, but it gives some sense of security. Maybe, the surprise that there’s so much more to explore.  

“Next time, maybe you could just give yourself permission to fail and go with the flow and engage with a person for the joy of their company. Irrespective of their age, sex and social status. Let the intent be pure indulgence- in the moment-in a conversation-for the joy of exploring someone’s world through a magical journey of words-making the rendezvous truly memorable” 

Thank you Anju. 

A bit about Anju:

I’m from India and moved to Australia 3 years back. I have worked with traditional Telco, Marketing and now with Telstra security consulting.  

I’m a diversity champion and also a cohort of BCTW (Brilliant connected Technical women). I’m associated with STEM – PTech programs with schools, encouraging young talent to be in Technology.  

I love sketching, painting, socialising. Be it life, clothes or a power point presentation- I love adding some colours. When not working I’m a voice over artist and emcee as well.