There is a fine line between cowgirl and lumberjack.

When I get an invitation to a party I get slightly anxious. I am not a huge fan of crowds of people. But I get over it pretty quickly. Mainly as parties at my age tend to be milestones you don’t want to miss!

But sometimes the invitation arrives with a theme… and we are asked to dress to match it.

That is when my heart sinks.

As a plus sized woman with slight social anxiety I want to either fit in or look so amazing I have the confidence to stand out.

As a plus sized woman at a themed party that becomes almost impossible.

I learned early in life that you can’t go half way if you are dressing up, if you do that you don’t fit in or look good.

So, I start picturing outfits. And my friends excitedly send me their outfits (if my friends are reading this please don’t ever stop doing that, I love seeing what you are wearing).

And I get a picture in my head of what I might wear.

Then I try to match what I can buy to that picture.

In todays case the theme was country and western. In my head I had cute cowgirl. Denim skirt, paisley blouse, boots, and a hat. Or maybe a dress with the boots and hat?

I have a hat and boots already – tick!

In my local shopping centre there are only a few shops that stock size 18-20, so I decided to see what I could find at lunchtime.

I quickly ruled out the denim skirt idea, soon followed by the dress.

But that was ok, I look good in jeans and it should be easy to find a suitable top. Right?

No luck with the paisley. But look – a cute pink checked shirt over there! Oh, it only goes up to size 14.

Next shop.

A pink checked shirt in my size! But it was heavy flannel. And I am going through menopause. Sweaty cowgirl was not the look.

Next shop.

A black and white checked flannel shirt (lightweight). Tick

My jeans. Tick

My hat. Tick

Boots. Tick

I now have an outfit to wear that fits the brief.

But looking in the mirror there seems to be a fine line between cowgirl and lumberjack.

Maybe I will keep shopping.