My latest vlog, my first for 2021.
It is short 🙂
And I cover what I plan to uplift in 2021 as well as my 2021 theme (my version of a resolution).
Coaching in the Wild #3
I should also mention that the profile mentioned was my LinkedIn profile – as this was my 11th take (some were only 2 seconds long before I messed up) I decided to clarify here rather than do a 12th take.
Given I once posted the video where my cat knocked over the camera you might wonder what ‘messing up entails’. It is when I go off on a tangent, or say something that feels wrong, completely lose my train of thought mid sentence etc.
When change is constant…
Story by me based on an interview with Olga
Olga’s story is one of a life lived well outside of most people’s comfort zones, which means she is rarely outside of her own. When change is a constant in your life, how do you get uncomfortable?
Becoming an entrepreneur might do it…
“Oh, I think it just happened gradually. And I wouldn’t call it stepping out of my comfort zone, I’ll say, extending my comfort zone. As lots of people did, I went through a lot of career transformation. And I lived in six different countries. I moved a lot. And my career kind of turned and twisted, because of that, as well. Everything contributed in a way.
“And I think that my major stepping out of the core of my comfort zone was transforming from a corporate worker to entrepreneur. To actually do my own business full time.
“I started my business six years ago, but it was a little bit of a love/hate relationship.”
Olga would work for herself, then be interested in what a corporation was doing and head back to that world.
“That’s what happened three times”
Once Olga made the choice to truly be an entrepreneur “It felt very liberating. And I think that’s one of the major contributing factors. Another aspect that really was appealing to me is the fact that I’m learning all the time. Before that I was well paid, but the job was extremely transactional. And it was very depressing to be honest. So, to get the opportunity to dive in and to learn all the time, and actually feel that I am growing as a professional, that was amazing. And it still is, you know, I’m still learning every day.”
And if someone was considering stepping out of their comfort zone?
“I think that my advice would be to think of actually applying the classical change management framework to the plan. Which means that you have to plan, you have to establish your success metrics, you need to be able to get the sponsor, get as much support as possible, and explain to family and friends how this changes might affect you.
“It’s important to communicate and explain to people how the change would affect them, and how it can be a good thing.”
Olga sees benefits in stepping out of your comfort zone – learning a growth to start with – but also appreciates that not everyone wants to get uncomfortable “you might want to still think of how you can learn. And you might not change jobs or move countries, but it’s a good idea to track what you’re doing and to track your growth. Stagnation is not good.”
“I think it’s very important to ask for help, to allow yourself ask for help. I think at different stages of our lives we all need mentors. And maybe not just one mentor. Two mentors who are different, of maybe different age groups, because I think that there are people who struggle, because they don’t see outside themselves. And that’s where I come, and I help and guide them through this journey. So I think it’s important to have someone who you trust who can help you to keep growing.”
Thank you Olga!
A little about Olga:
Having lived in 6 countries across Europe, Middle East and APAC and after working in senior HR and Recruitment role for the last 20 years, now Olga Barrett resides in Melbourne and helps people who go through their Career Transformation.
Olga helps people get the jobs they want and build the careers they deserve to have by creating actionable career transformation frameworks that make job search process transparent, manageable and even fun.
Ideas to share!
Words by me based on an interview with Lindsey
Lindsey had a solution to a problem that would deliver benefits to the team and customers. And for 10 years she only told a select group of people about it.
This year Lindsey looked at the problem statements for the Innovation Hackathon at Telstra and realised her solution was a great match.
There were a couple of aspects out of Lindsey’s comfort zone.
“I’ve been quietly championing away. And when I say quietly, it was really quiet. It was only within a group of about four or five people where we all were on the same page about what & why we needed to do it. We’re all excited. But it’s obviously not enough to make change on a big scale. It was going to take a lot more momentum and a lot more people talking about it. And that’s where the hackathon gave me that opportunity. I had to be willing to jump off the edge and do it. And once I had made up my mind to do it, then I had to go and convince other people to take time out to come and do a hackathon with me. Finding the right people to want to support you on that kind of journey, it can be a bit difficult, however I had some really good enthusiastic people that wanted to have a go.”
The next part that Lindsey found scary was pitching to senior executives! Although it was something she didn’t feel fully prepared for, it went well. Despite not winning the hackathon, Lindsey’s team’s solution is being built! “The hackathon was successful because it made the solution “sing”. We built a working prototype that we could give to the head of small business segment and go ‘look, here’s a here’s a working visual of that thing we were talking about two years ago.’”
Lindsey found a huge list of benefits from this step outside her comfort zone – aside from the progress on her solution!
These included professional visibility and PR, an expanded network, and, more importantly, a reminder that she loves to be creative.
Lindsey encourages others to step out of their comfort zone by first weighing up the risks – they are usually much smaller than you think – and then gathering a support team around you.
“For me, when I sat back and thought about jumping into the hackathon, I thought best case scenario we’ve created a nice lean canvas and some visually appealing slides that we might reuse, another day. Then weighing up, what’s the worst that could go wrong? And they usually won’t be many things I could think of.
“You’ve got to find the right team, as well. I cant stress that enough. And when I say team, whatever you’re doing or trying, you’re going to have a group of diverse people that are actually going to help and support you through it. So, I think that’s really important that you don’t go into it thinking that you’re doing it alone. It’s unrealistic to think that you can really go outside your comfort zone without there being some sort of virtual safety net around you.”
“Don’t wait till tomorrow. I think, particularly during the era of the working life that we have now, there’s no point waiting. Hackathons are a great way to test your comfort zone and the beauty of it is that most events are hosted 100% online! So, in fact, the opportunities are greater than ever, because everybody is looking online. So, get out there, beef up your LinkedIn profile. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Remember, diamonds are made under immense pressure”.
Great advice Lindsey!
About Lindsey Myers
As a Business Specialist in the C&SB Production Customer Data Management & Service Migration Mission, Lindsey’s been party to the Pillar 1 & Digitisation commitments to simplify and customer offerings & interactions within the T22 strategy, which will forever change Telstra.
Lindsey has recently competed in the Telstra Innovation Hackathon and spoke at the Telstra Unconference in November 2020.. a life-long learning enthusiast
Self Awareness is Key
Rachel started her interview with me by telling me about the time she left her job to focus on her typewriter poetry business – Typolar.
She has an old 1970s typewriter and she types poems on the spot on the subject requested. This started as Rachels side hustle but she took a leap and started working on it full time.
Leaving her job was not hard for Rachel. As someone who is neurodivergent, with ADHD and autism, she never felt like she was a 100% fit for her role. It was not all bad, but she decided to give being her own boss a shot!
Typolar was going well, but winter was approaching and Rachel was not sure about busking in winter. “I got interested in the neurodivergence space, I went to a symposium and heard about these interesting things with neurodivergence and employment. And I just thought I want to find a way to get the stories out there! So I studied marketing.”
I asked Rachel how making these decisions felt “I think on one hand I was terrified. On the other hand, I also thought I had nothing to lose.
“I already had my lowest points in employment, how much worse could entrepreneurship possibly get? It comes down to not having any regrets. Even if something was a bad decision, the human spirit is ultimately quite resilient.”
The resiliency was a theme throughout our interview. It is something she leans a lot on these days.
Rachel learned a few things about herself while on this journey: She was a better business person than she assumed, that her ADHD trait of being good in emergencies helped her adapt quickly to changing circumstances, and that trusting herself led to much better outcomes than taking on other opinions.
One of the other benefits Rachel discovered by being out of her comfort zone is not to fear failure. Writing poetry on request meant that sometimes (not often!) the poem wasn’t what the customer wanted. And Rachel learned that it was not the end of the world if that happened! Also “people are more afraid of the social judgement that comes with that rather than the actual failure itself. So once you realise that it’s actually about being afraid of other people’s judgement on that failure, you go, ‘Okay, well, why do you care about that person’s opinion because they’re more worried about their own judgement’”
As for advice to anyone thinking about stepping out of their comfort zone: “number one is self-awareness. Really understanding yourself as to what are you good at? What are you not good at? What do you really want to achieve in life? And sitting down and mapping out all those different strengths, interests, weaknesses. Then using that to help with making a decision on whether to step out of that comfort zone and do your own thing or even making a tough decision about your career.”
Rachel also advises to think about just how important decisions are – what is critical at 19 may not be such a big deal at 90 when you look back on your life.
And of course, Rachel had a chance to give me some final words, powerful ones “I think the more the more that people are self-aware of what they want to do, what they want to do to be happy. I think it’s just better for society. I think if we just worry less about other people’s judgement, if we just even stop judging people in general. I think everyone will just be a lot happier, society be more productive. work will be far more pleasant. A lot of social issues and political crises will be resolved. If we just stop being judgmental about other people’s differences and embracing everyone’s neurodivergence.”
About Rachel:
My day job is being the CEO of Neurodiversity Media, a global tech-enabled media company that combines journalistic flair, marketing insight and legal rigour to unleash potential in the workplace. Our signature product is our Resource Library platform, our one-stop shop for news, products and services for all things neurodiversity in the workplace. Join as a free member today: www.neurodiversitymedia.com/join.
My first business and current side hustle, typepolar, is my creative outlet where I write poems on demand at weddings, parties and events. I also do personalised poetry commissions for gifts.
Coaching in the wild #2
My first steps and a lot of thinking!
Coaching in the wild #1
A new stage of my journey, learning more about professional coaching and looking for my first client!
Turning up is 90% of the game
Image by me
What if you had spent so much of your life outside your comfort zone that your challenge was in settling back into being comfortable?
Meet Monica!
Up until the age of 13 Monica had an idyllic life. One of 8 children with two great parents she was perfectly happy. And then her father passed away suddenly. On the surface life didn’t change, other than missing her dad.
Monica found herself becoming the ‘clever, naughty kid’ after that. “I adopted this persona of always being outside the comfort zone, always being rebellious.”
Monica balanced jobs and school from ages 14 to 17, and then decided to take a gap year as she had no idea what direction to take next. Career advice was varied and not useful!
After finding herself working 5 jobs in Cairns, a push from her mum had her moving back to the city and getting a job at a trading house – the start of something wonderful for Monica!
“And it was just the dynamism of this really complicated global working environment a whole new language to learn – bills of lading, 90cl, futures, phytosanitary certificates, regulations and steamship owners that were German. Russian and Pacific Islanders. It was an interesting process, and I went to work as a shipping clerk.”
Monica describes one of her key attributes as curiosity, which combined with an ability to make friends and retain information had her soon selected to be part of an international fast track program!
“That just then opened up a whole world! This month, you’re going to go to Singapore, and you’re going to learn about our insurance business. Next month, you’re going to go to Hamburg and you’re going to have learn how we manage our asset fleet of breakbulk ships, or every variety of ships and how many ports we own around the world. You are going to learn the economics of the cattle/beef industry, from paddock to burger. As a 22-year-old kid I just soaked all this up.”
Monica’s career went from strength to strength, a combination of confidence and talent seeing her succeed in whatever she set her mind to. She moved from Brisbane to Perth to Sydney and then to New York as part of her career progression.
For 8 years in US she thrived then as she turned 30 she reflected on her next step and incidentally started to meet women 10 years older and whilst “successful” in their careers and earnings they were unhappy. That was the first trigger in her decision to come home to Australia, but there was more “I think something sat with me from meeting those all the women and I got a glimpse of my future self.
“I actually got sick because I’ve flown a lot and I picked up a virus, I think on a trip back from South America. And I remember I flew into Miami and was feeling just not quite well. I went to whoever the doctor was according to our health plan, and before I knew it, they put me into the ICU because what I’d actually picked up was a viral infection in my heart muscle.”
It was not long after that Monica moved home to Brisbane and moved in with her mum, who sadly passed away 4 months later.
Monica struggled to get a job in Brisbane – a recruiter suggested her experience and her New York accent may have been intimidating to the branch offices in that smaller city – but instead of moving to a bigger city Monica embarked on an MBA – and 2 years later topped the Dean’s list. Another year on she married a pilot and move to Dubai where she embarked on another 9-year adventure in Arabic foreign wealth funds.
Her marriage lasted a decade and she moved back to her beloved Brisbane in 2012. “The divorce gave me cause to reflect.”
Monica shared with me at this stage that if it is work related, she has no issue solving problems, but struggled more with being uncomfortable / vulnerable on a personal level.
“One of my brothers suffers with bipolar. In the last five years, I took my brother in and he came to live with me. And I started to get a real appreciation of mental illness as an illness not as something that people should just get over.
“I got the understanding of just how cruel and hurtful people going through both ends of that cycle are. I felt useless. I just felt like it was something I couldn’t fix. And that really, for a long while, it really affected me. And it took me a while to develop a mindset about removing all my unconscious bias that it was about my brother. It’s not just get out of bed and do something. That’s my method. That’s not healing.
“It took me a long while but I’ve reframed my whole mindset around, this is an illness. And if he had cancer, I would be there in a heartbeat with whatever it needed done. And so I just had to accept it was something out of my control, and I had to manage it. Like I would manage the volatility of the marketplace, and say, whatever version of my brother turns up today, I’ll be okay. I think that was helpful. And that’s helped me a lot more in this last phase of my career. Because I think now, I’m much more of a humanist.”
And Monica’s advice to others about stepping out of their comfort zone?
“It’s hard, but you can’t let it disable you. I would implore them to go to a time where the first experience has been discomfort, like when they learn to drive, the first time you ever get behind the wheel of a car, you think you’re never going to be able to do this. The first time you go out for a run, you think I’ll never be able to run more than 20 minutes. The first time you touch a computer, are you ever going to be able to type? I think there’s lots of examples in our lives where we’ve had discomfort, but we just work our way through it. And for me, I think turning up is 90% of the game. So turn up”
Great advice Monica!
Shedding tears of discomfort
I’m a crier.
We call it the ‘Symington crying gene’ in our family as it most definitely comes from my mum’s family. My mum and siblings, aunts, uncles and several cousins all have it too.
I cry for many reasons; most strong emotions bring me to tears to be honest. Joy, sadness, frustration, anger to name a few.
I have been known to cry watching ads.
I once cried so hard reading a book that the person who found me sobbing thought I had lost a family member.
Over my 50 years I have learned to own my tears, it is part of my heritage, and a sign that I care passionately. Even at work I accept that sometimes I am moved to tears.
The crying scenario where I am still uncomfortable is when they are tears of empathy. I am the person sobbing at a funeral of an acquaintance. The person who cries when someone else cries. Even if they are a stranger.
I feel that my tears take attention away from person experiencing the strong emotion. And the more I try to hide the tears the more the focus comes to me.
But there is nothing I can do. In rare cases I can delay my tears, but not often.
So, I am learning to own those tears too. To not hide, to not apologise. To not explain.
It is hard, and makes me very uncomfortable.
But feeling strongly enough to shed tears is not something I want to be ashamed of.
Driving out of your comfort zone!
Words by me based on an interview with Rosie
I am writing this before I discover if Rosie did get her driver’s licence!
Rosie did her interview with me the day of her test. “For context. I’m 30 years old. And as we’re talking right now, I’m going for my driver licence for the first time this afternoon.”
“It is exciting. And it’s one of those things where, because it’s a more commonplace thing, it’s almost scarier to start doing. Because it’s easy for everyone else, right? I’m someone who most skills come very, very easily to me, if I just apply myself. But most things you can learn with no audience and without the risk of an injury to yourself or a very expensive object.
“So, driving, like deciding to want to, and then actually going through the process of learning. It’s really, really, really outside of my comfort zone. And this is probably the fourth attempt to learn…to get to the point where I’m okay to go for go for the test. And you know, if I don’t pass this test, that’s okay. I’ll go for it again. And it’s now almost like it’s inevitable that I’ll get my license. Whereas before it was something that was just impossible.”
I asked Rosie what the driver was – after all she was 30 and had not been able to drive until now “The moment that I realised I actually wanted this was I was talking to my partner. He said something like, it would be really nice to go on a road trip with you and to not be the only one driving. And he didn’t say it in a judgy kind of way. It was very much like it would be really nice. So partly out of wanting to be an equal part in the relationship and wanting to give that to him. That’s one side of it.”
“The other side of it is I’m someone who hasn’t really shied away from scary things. I tried stand up comedy. I’ve gotten up on stages and spoken, I’ve sung in public. Why was this one thing so impossible for me? And if it’s so impossible, why not do it just to prove I can do the impossible, right? So those were the things that nudged me towards it.”
Rosie realised that to stop herself from getting overwhelmed she needed to take really small steps – step one was driving 4 blocks on a back street, and she repeated that step until she felt ready to move to 8 blocks. She found this technique made it a lot easier to keep learning.
Rosie’s biggest fear is messing up publicly. With potential consequences to others or other objects. “Competency has been something that’s carried me a long way in most of my life and being seen in an incompetent way–while inherently and logically I know there’s nothing wrong with it–it still makes me feel really really awful. And some part of me is sure I’m dying when I make a fool of myself in public.”
Of course I asked Rosie for her advice to others contemplating getting uncomfortable “fear is excitement with judgment placed on it. Right? If you just felt those physical sensations, and you didn’t have a story attached, you would call that excitement. So, fear is useful. It keeps us safe. But if it’s something that isn’t actually going to actually threaten your safety or well being, then find a way to interact with it.”
“Take a baby step like I did driving four blocks, or just spend time cultivating, wanting it. The more you think about that, the more it becomes a familiar thought in your reality, the more likely it’s going to feel available to you And eventually you’ll do it. Eventually you’ll find that energy and that space for yourself. “
And Rosie’s final words for you “The times I’ve pushed out of my comfort zone, I do not have many regrets. But of the times that I had the opportunity to [do something], and I didn’t? I look back on those I see what it could have done for myself. If I can encourage you just try something little, most things won’t kill us. So why not? Why not give it to ourselves?”
Thanks Rosie. I hope you are driving happily right now!