A few weeks ago I took a big step out of my comfort zone!  

I did a group charity skinny dip. 

My body is generous. And my self-consciousness about this is often very high. After 30 + years of trying to diet my body into what society finds acceptable I discovered HAES. And I realised that maybe I should accept that I am not one of the 5% for whom diets are successful. That maybe it was time to stop trying to make my body a certain shape and size and instead focus on my health and fitness. That takes a lot of effort. Accepting my body as it is was one of the first steps, and it is taking me years. Stopping weighing myself was a lot easier, mostly. There are times when I have to provide my weight (such as for gliding) and despite my best self talk that can set me back into wanting to give dieting ‘one last try’. 

During this process I watched Taryn Brumfitt’s documentary “embrace”. And also skinny dipped with a dear friend for my very first time. And found myself intrigued by the idea of the Sydney Skinny. It is a skinny dip in Sydney that raises money for The Charlie Teo Foundation. You sign up for a ‘wave’ of people, in my case the women only wave, and at the allocated time you walk down to the beach, strip off and swim!  

Before the swim I was quite nervous. I had flown up to Sydney on my own, and was not even sure I could swim 300m in the ocean! Strangely the nakedness was not a part of my fear. 

It was a wet and cold Sydney Sunday in March when the event happened. In the waiting area above the beach everyone was crowded under a marquee, the only dryish place available. I ended up sharing my table with a group of fabulous women who were in my wave. Once they discovered I was on my own they ‘adopted’ me into their group. And so ended my fear of being alone! 

As the earlier waves started coming back up from the beach (wrapped in wet sarongs) they were talking about the shortening of the course due to the bad weather (it was not until later that I learned that was due to increased shark activity!). Fear number 2 was reducing now too. 

When our wave was called we headed out into the rain to start the 15 minute walk to the water. It was raining so hard I was wet through to my underwear by the time we reached the beach! 

We stripped off and placed our clothes on a convenient rock wall, about 20 metres from the water’s edge, turned and walked down to the starting point.  

There was so much laughter and joy.  

Such freedom.  

With many giggles and splashes we started our swim. More like 150m than 300 later I was done! It went so fast. I did slow down towards the end and just savoured the moment.  

A wet (due to the rain!) sarong was given to each of us as we exited and after some amusing photoshoots we made our way back to the top of the hill.  

It was as I was getting changed back into some dry clothes that I realised that I had not thought about my body size or shape at all during the event.  

Not been self-conscious.  

Not felt ‘different’. 

I think, though it is hard to be sure, that my body confidence has improved since then. There is something about being part of so much joy that makes the way your body looks feel less important. What you do with it takes precedence. Today I think I will do a little strutting with mine. Clothed of course.