Tag: #climbinglava

Support is everything

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Akansha came from a “bubble of not knowing how to do things on my own” to move to Australia to complete her Masters!

Akansha had never stayed anywhere without her immediate family prior to making this momentous decision.

“In my mind for first couple of weeks it kept feeling as if I was on a on a sleepover with the people [new roommates] and it felt like I was on a long holiday.

“And after a while, once uni started, that’s when it just all came out at once like ‘oh my god, I miss everyone.’”

Everything was new – from grocery shopping to living with strangers. That was mixed with studying and having to earn money to live on. The smallest thing was an adjustment – learning that ‘ta’ meant thank you not good bye for example!  The stress was overwhelming, and for the first time since she was born Akansha found herself in hospital. This added to her financial stress. To top it all off, she is working on getting her permanent residency to be able to stay in Australia. The process is very expensive and lot of jobs demand PR which is career limiting.

So, with all the above – plus regular racism – why would Akansha persevere?

“First of all, I had taken this decision that I wanted to experience what it is living outside of home and in a new country altogether. That kept me going.

“There’s always light at the tunnel and this is what my mum told me. My parents have been biggest support for me.”

Akansha’s parents continuously reminded her of her achievements – passing exams despite being hospitalised, getting her internship at Telstra – and also that she just had to keep at it.

Her sister also moved to Australia which helps a lot!

When I asked Akansha if there were benefits from stepping out of her comfort zone her whole face lit up with joy and pride! “I have grown in last three years so much that I did not in last 20 years of being India. I have learned finances, time management skills, and life experiences. I feel mature.

“From the time I stepped in Australia to the time right now I have grown mentally. And it doesn’t mean that there are not many challenges that keep me thinking and trying to get better. My attitude has changed. The way I look at things or the problems. I’m not saying it’s perfect all the time. Absolutely not. But definitely when I compare myself to what I was like in 2017 to what I am like in 2020… I guess I feel like I’m not a child. “

The advice Akansha has for people considering stepping out of their comfort zone is to just go for it. If you over think it you will see all the issues, if you focus on your end goal you will resolve those hurdles as you go “I have to paint that thing. And if you don’t have brushes, that’s the problem. And then you keep thinking ‘I don’t have brushes, I don’t have brushes.’ But if you if you think ‘yes, I will paint’ then you will go and buy brushes!”

Akansha’s last words were to create a support group and then include them in your celebrations! “I celebrate every year, so in February I was celebrating 3 years in Australia, and I had a celebratory dinner”

Thank you Akansha for sharing your story!

Just pick up the toothpick!

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Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash
Words by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Sarah

Sarah agreed to be interviewed as she is trying to say yes as much as possible, she has found that stepping out of her comfort zone encourages her to do it more often.

We spoke specifically about Sarah learning Taekwondo. A few years ago Sarah was challenged by her coach to “do something that I wasn’t comfortable with doing”. Sarah is an outgoing person and often pushes herself, but she “tend[s] to do it in an area that I’m still quite knowledgeable in or experienced in or doesn’t fill me with too much fear”.

So at around 40 Sarah started learning Taekwondo. It was not just out of her comfort zone to learn something new, “I’ve never had really had a hobby, never really committed to anything that consistently I am entirely not sporty. I have a terrible memory and I’m not particularly coordinated.”

Sarah even found that there was a challenge within her challenge. “One of the biggest challenges I had was as part of doing Taekwondo. You shout to help signal when something’s completed, or when you hit someone if you’re sparring. And then despite being very vocal, and despite being very comfortable with being loud and singing to have quite a strong voice, I actually found that for a good six to eight weeks of me doing Taekwondo, I couldn’t do the shouting.”

When Sarah took on her coaches challenge, she didn’t even consider the benefits of doing so, she just accepted the challenge. But on reflection there were definitely upsides. Learning taekwondo had its own perks – fitness, improved coordination, an hour where work is not even considered, and meeting new people are some of those – but there were also benefits that were outside of those. For Sarah she learned that the initial discomfort doesn’t last very long, and you might get something fun from the experience! “And I think this stepping out of the comfort zone just made me realise that you know you never too old to do it either. So you are never too old to try a new career, try a new sport, pick up something new”

I asked Sarah (surprise!) about advice for someone else considering stepping out of their comfort zone “The same advice I got given, which was just pick up the toothpick. My coach taught me a game… where you picking up toothpicks, and get little bits of feedback every time until you pick up the correct toothpick. And when kids play the game, they just play it really quickly. And they just take the feedback and they just respond very quickly. But the older we get, we have more fear and there’s more embarrassment that stops us from doing things like stepping out of your comfort zone or trying new experiences or new jobs or new careers or whatever it is that you’re doing. And she has constantly said to me, just pick up the toothpick, just pick up the toothpick and I, probably on a weekly basis, think to myself just pick up the toothpick, Sarah, just have a go. And if it doesn’t work out, you don’t like it or you find that you’re not particularly good at it but you love it, then you’ve got more knowledge about yourself than you did before. So my advice would be the same that she gave me which was pick up the toothpick and you might get something great come out.”

Thank you, Sarah!

When there is no comfort zone to step out of…

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Image and words by me (Fiona)

How do I write a blog about stepping out of your comfort zone, when nobody is comfortable right now (or at least nobody I know)?

There are many posts about how to get through this unprecedented time. Wonderful advice. Opportunities to learn, listen, read or see things from your home that you normally had to go to in person, and often pay for.

You can watch orchestras or people signing from their homes.

You can do courses online or attend webinars on a plethora of topics.

You can watch penguins explore or snow leopard cubs play via zoo webcams.

But sometimes it is overwhelming. The uncertainty, the changes, the fear.

And that is ok too.

Sometimes what you need is to cry, or call a friend, or pet a dog. And then when you feel strong again you can once again take advantage of all that is being offered.

What you need right now is the right thing to do.

Familiarity breeds confidence

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Photo by Oscar Keys on Unsplash
Words by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Sam

Sam followed his passion right out of his comfort zone.

The benefit – getting into the NIDA Actors Studio, a 12-month professional acting program – was worth it. But first there was an audition!

“I’ve never auditioned for anything before. So, that was really out of my comfort zone. The whole row of people waiting to be auditioned in a small studio by two professional industry people, one director and one actress. I had to do two monologues.

“I felt really nervous. I thought ‘What am I doing?’ Like, what the hell am I doing? I don’t belong here. I should get out of here. I want to run out the doors. But I think what stops me from doing that is the fact that I did the preparation. And I’m sure in my head of what I’m going to do when they call my name. I think that’s the key. I think if you want to do something that’s outside your comfort zone, you don’t just go and do it. You actually have to prepare for it, you prepare for it and you prepare well. So when you come to do it, you can execute with precision and with all of the preparation that you have done whilst also being prepared to respond in the moment.”

Sam steps out of his comfort zone regularly in order to follow his passions. He is doing more public speaking. He did a play in December, completed a voiceover for a short documentary about loneliness and recently finished shooting a short film, soon to be playing at film festivals throughout Australia. Acting he particularly enjoys as a way of learning about human behaviour “You learn new things about yourself. And you learn new things about other people as well. From an acting perspective, you learn a lot about human behaviour. Because when you’re getting into a role you begin to learn about that character, what the character will do and think, how he responds to different situations, what’s at stake if he doesn’t get what he wants, and you just want to portray that character truthfully within the given circumstances of the text. So when you do that, you have to do a lot of research into human behaviour types, and all kinds of other things. And that just helps you understand not only yourself, but other people.”

Sam also found another benefit of stepping out of his comfort zone – he found himself with a different group of people and made lifelong friends, people he would not have met if he had not taken that step.

Sam had this advice for people thinking about stepping out of their comfort zone “Familiarity breeds confidence. So if there’s something you want to do, just get into it, start reading about it, start arming yourself with knowledge, become familiar with the process and how it works. And I think the more you do that, the more it reinforces your drive to do it. And that’s a virtuous circle, I think you might call it. And I think that’s the key you don’t just go into something blind. When you see great performances on the stage or on the screen, or when you see great talks at meetups, when you see great meetings, planning days and stuff executed, people don’t just rock up and do it. There’s a tonne of preparation that goes into these things. So it’s all about familiarising yourself with what needs to be done and having fun and discovering new things in the process.”

“And also I think having an understanding that even if you fail, whatever that definition is for you. well, actually, you’ve learned something right? And you keep iterating and you go in again and you do it, you go in again, you do it.”

And Sam’s final words were a pretty awesome summary of his approach to stepping outside of your comfort zone: “Get a parachute. Make sure you know how to use it. And then jump.”

Equine assisted Learning!

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Karen & Duke

So why would a person who was terrified of horses agree to partake in a session of equine assisted learning? 

“Really to understand what she did. And I’ve seen some posts on LinkedIn from a couple of other people I know who’d been up to Kinglake, and came back. And the stuff that surfaced, just in terms of your communication style, and your leadership style made me want to do it.” 

So what did it involve? 

“Karen Ostenried runs a program of equine assisted learning. She uses horses for team building, leadership programs, and all sorts of awesome stuff and she invited me and my partner up to see what she does. 

“As a child, I had a very unfortunate experience with a horse. And I’ve got this fear of horses.  

“Even before we went up there Karen said I could stay outside the arena, I didn’t need to go in – everybody has their comfort zone. So, on that basis, I said, Okay, let’s go.  

So up we went to King Lake. And we did stand outside the arena.  

“We had a bit of prep first and we stood outside the arena. And Karen introduced us to Duke who’s pretty tall. So she introduced us from afar and I watched, and then she told me and showed us what we’re going to be doing and just really eased us into a sense of a feeling of comfort, if you like. 

“then we went into then we went into the arena and she gave us some brushes. With a bit of a trepidation I to started to brush Duke, who was quite happy! So it was nothing to fear really. Then she taught us how to recognize the body language of the horse. Duke had become part of our team.  We had to take Duke with us to overcome problems and challenges. It was all like these obstacle courses set up on the in the arena that we had to take Duke through with us as a team.  

“It was a big step up by set aside my comfort zone for me, but I think I was able to do it. I was very surprised by how far I got! 

 “I was amazed at the end of it, but I think I was able to do it because it was done in baby steps. It wasn’t a big jump. If Karen had opened the door to that arena and said, right, come on in and grab hold of Duke I don’t think I would have moved. I was able to succeed because there was coaching and support throughout to get to the point.” 

One of the lessons Karen took out was that when leading Duke, if she looked back she confused him! She had to keep looking and moving forward to have him follow her. It was about setting clear direction for your team. 

At this point I must be honest, I am keen to see how I can participate in Equine Assisted learning! 

But I stayed focused and asked Karen about what drives her to step out of her comfort zone. “I think it helps you grow as a person. And I think if we never step out of our comfort zone, nothing will ever change. It’s just inertia. So I’m very much all about that growth mindset. You know about development, learning and growing. And there’s never a point at which you can’t be better at something or you can’t improve the way you lead or coach or whatever it might be or you can improve your communication skills. So I think it’s all about that learning and getting better. And when you are better at something and more comfortable with it, that’s when your comfort zone is growing. And I think it just enables you to do more and more.” 

Thank you, Karen, for sharing your amazing experience! 

The link to the EAL experience is: https://the-matanya-effect.com.au/ 

SUP!

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Words and story by me (Fiona)
Photo by Krzysztof Kowalik on Unsplash

You may have realised by now I rarely say no to trying something new. But a friend who I visit twice a year has asked a few times about me trying Stand Up Paddleboarding (SUP) with her and while I have never said no, I never jumped at the chance either. I am not sure why, but I felt like I would be really bad at it. This last visit was different. I said yes! 

Firstly, I kayaked while my friend SUP’d. And got a great workout while having loads of fun! Then on day 2 we arranged for me to borrow a SUP, a nice big, stable one and off we went. 

I was given the option of kneeling but chose to try and stand, with her holding the board. I wobbled. I knelt. I squatted. I did something vaguely resembling a downward dog. And repeated that cycle a few times. Eventually I stood! 

And started paddling carefully.  

We were in a creek, with only a light breeze. I headed off, slowly and carefully. With occasional tips about my arm position and technique. I must confess that despite being told more than once that the paddle was my friend to help stabilise me it never felt that way!  

Then my feet got sore. I was gripping the board with them. My friend suggested I move them a little. And suddenly I was back on my knees! I am not sure what process my brain went through, but apparently even the thought of moving my feet panicked me! But I didn’t fall off 😊 

We paddled across to the far bank, with me staying on my knees. Then cut back across to get out of the breeze. The day was mildly warm, the view was amazing, and my friend was so stable she had a drink on the front of her board! It was delightful. 

At the turn around point I decided I wanted to try standing again. Without my friend to stabilise my board. There was a replay of the kneel, squat, downward dog, kneel cycle a few times before I finally managed to get myself upright again. I was so proud!! 

I stood for about half the trip, kneeling when the breeze picked up. 

I loved SUP. But I think I will try kayaking again, I felt a lot more stable sitting down!!