Tag: #learningnewskills

Driving out of your comfort zone!

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Image by me (Fiona)
Words by me based on an interview with Rosie

I am writing this before I discover if Rosie did get her driver’s licence!

Rosie did her interview with me the day of her test. “For context. I’m 30 years old. And as we’re talking right now, I’m going for my driver licence for the first time this afternoon.”

“It is exciting. And it’s one of those things where, because it’s a more commonplace thing, it’s almost scarier to start doing. Because it’s easy for everyone else, right? I’m someone who most skills come very, very easily to me, if I just apply myself. But most things you can learn with no audience and without the risk of an injury to yourself or a very expensive object.

“So, driving, like deciding to want to, and then actually going through the process of learning. It’s really, really, really outside of my comfort zone. And this is probably the fourth attempt to learn…to get to the point where I’m okay to go for go for the test. And you know, if I don’t pass this test, that’s okay. I’ll go for it again. And it’s now almost like it’s inevitable that I’ll get my license. Whereas before it was something that was just impossible.”

I asked Rosie what the driver was – after all she was 30 and had not been able to drive until now “The moment that I realised I actually wanted this was I was talking to my partner. He said something like, it would be really nice to go on a road trip with you and to not be the only one driving.  And he didn’t say it in a judgy kind of way. It was very much like it would be really nice.  So partly out of wanting to be an equal part in the relationship and wanting to give that to him. That’s one side of it.”

“The other side of it is I’m someone who hasn’t really shied away from scary things. I tried stand up comedy. I’ve gotten up on stages and spoken, I’ve sung in public. Why was this one thing so impossible for me? And if it’s so impossible, why not do it just to prove I can do the impossible, right? So those were the things that nudged me towards it.”

Rosie realised that to stop herself from getting overwhelmed she needed to take really small steps – step one was driving 4 blocks on a back street, and she repeated that step until she felt ready to move to 8 blocks. She found this technique made it a lot easier to keep learning.

Rosie’s biggest fear is messing up publicly. With potential consequences to others or other objects. “Competency has been something that’s carried me a long way in most of my life and being seen in an incompetent way–while inherently and logically I know there’s nothing wrong with it–it still makes me feel really really awful. And some part of me is sure I’m dying when I make a fool of myself in public.”

Of course I asked Rosie for her advice to others contemplating getting uncomfortable “fear is excitement with judgment placed on it. Right? If you just felt those physical sensations, and you didn’t have a story attached, you would call that excitement. So, fear is useful. It keeps us safe. But if it’s something that isn’t actually going to actually threaten your safety or well being, then find a way to interact with it.”

“Take a baby step like I did driving four blocks, or just spend time cultivating, wanting it. The more you think about that, the more it becomes a familiar thought in your reality, the more likely it’s going to feel available to you And eventually you’ll do it. Eventually you’ll find that energy and that space for yourself. “

And Rosie’s final words for you “The times I’ve pushed out of my comfort zone, I do not have many regrets. But of the times that I had the opportunity to [do something], and I didn’t?  I look back on those I see what it could have done for myself. If I can encourage you just try something little, most things won’t kill us. So why not? Why not give it to ourselves?”

Thanks Rosie. I hope you are driving happily right now!

Driven by a great idea!

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Photo by Ameen Fahmy on Unsplash
Words by Fiona based on an interview with Kirby

What do you do when you have a great idea, driven by a need you have, but making that concept a reality means stepping outside your comfort zone?

In Kirby’s case you do your research and go for it!

Boxi came from a real need, “my son has allergies to three different food groups. And I had a challenge as soon as he started to eat solid food, I’d have to take food absolutely everywhere he went, he couldn’t have anything that was packaged. I was taking lots of food in little tiny containers in a bag, but I’d lose the lids or I’d have mismatched lids. And then I found a really cute little bento style lunch box which I loved but I would have to put it in another bag with an icepack and it was a bag external to the bag that I’d have to take everywhere.

“Anyway, that’s what I started thinking about. Maybe I should make a lunch box because I couldn’t actually find one at the time. That was a bento style lunch box where I could compartmentalise the food and keep it cool at the same time. And that’s how it all started really.”

Everything but the marketing was out of Kirby’s comfort zone! She has a degree in communications, but started by Googling ‘how to make a product’ and going from there!

One of the hardest things for Kirby was asking for advice. But once she reached out she found that people were willing to share their own knowledge and experiences. She reached out to someone who she knew had run a successful kickstarter campaign, and also a person who had won a design award. Kirby had been worried they would ignore her or even say no, but instead found amazing help and support!

And yes, Kirby is now helping people who have reached out to her for advice!

Kirby did have setbacks – including a significant investor falling through just as she was about to get started. But she just knew she had a great product. “I got my first prototype sorted before I launched it to the public. And I showed it to a lot of people and I got my friends to take my prototype and show their friends so it was unbiased feedback. And I think the fact that I knew that this product was good and there was nothing like it on the market. That is one thing that has driven me plus, by the time I had that first prototype, which was this time last year, I really felt like I can’t turn back now!”

Kirby is comfortable with change, but is not a big risk taker. So her advice to others considering a similar move is to research! She is happy to take calculated risks, where the pay off is worth it. And is more willing now to do things (like talk to me!) that she would never had agreed to in the past. She still fights a fear of failure, but was given some great advice to “take longer to make a decision on the big decisions”. She realised that it is ok to take a week to get back to someone if she needs that time to be confident in her answer.

In Kirby’s words: “Do it. And don’t wait too long either. I feel like I sat on this idea for too long before I took any action because I was too scared of failing.

“Do your research. Reach out to people who are a year or two years ahead of you in their journey and just learn from their mistakes or learn from their experience so that you can build a relationship with them.

“So I just say go for it. Don’t wait too long. Get the right advice from the professionals, lawyers, engineers, whoever it is that you need. Do your research, use Google! And just go for it. I mean, really, at the end of the day, if this does fail, which is not going to, but if it does, I gave it a go.”

Great advice, and thank you Kirby for giving it a go!

Find out more about Boxi at https://www.boxi.com.au/pages/about-us

DDIY – or Don’t Do It Yourself

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Photo by RhondaK Native Florida Folk Artist on Unsplash
Words by me (Fiona)

My goal for the summer break was to convert my exes ‘man cave’ into my ‘she-shed’. This involved emptying, cleaning, acid staining the floor, sealing the floor, painting the walls and moving my gym equipment in. And I had 2 weeks. And all within my skill set (or so I thought). 

It started well with a trip to the tip and a new power washer to clean the concrete floor. The acid stain (actually an ethanol or methanol (I forget which) based one) was sprayed on. And I waited with excitement for my floor to turn a lovely teal. 4-6 hours they said. I waited 8 hours before realising the lime levels in my concrete were obviously too low to activate much colour. I had more pale than bright teal. But onwards I went, the option of paying more money to dye the concrete (without guaranteed results) was tempting but I resisted. It is ‘only a shed’ became a mantra. 

I did my first coat of seal and visited often as it dried. Patchy. But I had a second coat to go!  

I also learned something at this stage – do not seal your concrete floor in bare feet – any seal you walk in will seal the dirt to the soles of your feet for several days! 

I applied the second coat (in boots and gloves), trying to make sure the non-shiny parts got more paint. It dried. Patchy. I reminded myself that it is only a shed. It would be fine. About this time, I looked at the curing time – 7 days and I was closing in on my second week of leave! I planned to paint the walls on day 3 (90% cured) before moving the gym into the she-shed on day 8 (a couple of days before going back to work). 

Then I looked at the floor again the next day, and the next. And did a third coat of seal. I’ll be honest, it is still patchy. But it is only a shed. I refuse to do a 4th coat. 

The delayed painting day arrived. Not something I have done much of. I stirred my paint, lay down plastic drop sheets, with some old towels as extra protection. I found a roller and tray that fit. I used a brush to cut in one panel of the wall and started rolling. Paint went on the wall. And on me. The screws I had chosen not to remove meant more brushwork. Some rolled parts were patchy (theme?) and some had so much paint they dripped. Lines appeared from the edge of the roller. This was not going well! I stepped back to contemplate my technique and how to fix it… onto the edge of my paint tray! Thankfully I only clipped it and it didn’t spill. But it did tear my drop sheet. And finish my journey into painting walls. I was done! 

I logged onto airtasker. I will skim over the next 36 hours other than to say that sometimes I am too trusting and the person who accepted my job and then delayed for over 24 hours (with legitimate sounding excuses) before no longer responding to me did not deserve that faith that people try to do the right thing. I was played. (Will I ever understand the pleasure someone gets from doing stuff like that? Probably not.) 

Fast forward to lunch time the next day and a different person is out there painting the walls… He showed up 😊. He may have been (self-confessed) the worlds slowest painter, but by 2am I was driving him to the station and the walls were done. OK, so my acid stain spray technique may mean that there are teal patches bleeding through on most of the lower parts of the walls… but it was done! 

Lucky it is ‘only a shed’! 

Adapting your way out of your comfort zone

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Words by Fiona based on an interview with Laura
Image courtesy of Laura

Starting your own business is scary. Quitting your corporate job to do so is scary. Starting an adaptive clothing business when the last time you sewed was for a grade four butterfly project which left you traumatised? Terrifying! 

Adaptive clothing is designed to be easily worn by people who have difficulty with traditional clothing – possibly due to a disability or age – and uses items like Velcro or magnets for fastening instead of buttons and zips. It is easy to wear, and does already exist in Australia… but Laura saw a gap in the market when it came to “beautiful clothing that can be worn by everyone”. 

Laura has always had an interest in fashion, and really wanted to make a positive difference in the world. 

This is really new for Laura – she started at the beginning of August! At this stage she is feeling really excited! She has entered a Venture Cup at her old Uni, and will hopefully get into the finalists. 

Laura is an old hand at leaving her comfort zone. “I guess I just want to try new things. Probably my first major stepping out of my comfort zone was when I was 15 years old. I was just reading a magazine and I saw this amazing school called the Green School in Bali. And it’s in built entirely from bamboo, and it’s in a rain forest, next to a river. And I talked to my parents and they said ‘if you organize it all you can go.’ That was the worst mistake ever. Because I actually organized it! I contacted friends of friends, I organized passports, visas, accommodation transport to and from school, vaccinations, like a million different things. And I stayed with a Balinese family there.” 

The best part of stepping out of your comfort zone according to Laura is being able to challenge what you think you are capable of. “If you stay in your little bubble you are not going to learn much”. 

If you are considering a step out of your comfort zone, Laura suggests “find someone you trust and talk to them about it is. Because there’s a lot of people out there who are happy to mentor and help. And they’ll be able to provide you with feedback or ideas, that sort of thing.” 

Laura started this year fighting major depression and anxiety. What a year she is having!  

When I summarised back to Laura all she had shared with me, I loved the glow on her face.  

I can’t wait to hear what she gets up to next!