No Regrets!

Story by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Karen
Image by me

Karen was not sure how she was going to support her family through the pandemic “I found myself in an area where I was not sure about what my income was going to be like, or really how my family was going to be able to be supported moving forward.”

It came to Karen through a meditation that she needed to tell her daughter’s story.

“So, what happened was that when my oldest daughter was 11, I found out that she was autistic. And not just shy, as the doctors had been telling me since she was born. Through testing we found out that she was autistic.

“And being a single parent, raising three young kids, and owning my own business I was really overwhelmed and didn’t know how to deal with that. Which is very normal for a lot of parents who have children who are diagnosed with a special need later on in their life.

“At age 11 it was, it was late for her to have this diagnosis, but not uncommon. I really didn’t know how to handle it, I didn’t know how to manage.”

Karen got lots of advice and found herself going into ‘mama bear’ mode. Trying to gain some control. Trying to do everything she could to make sure her daughter was going to be ok.

“And it came to a point where she just exploded at me and was like, ‘Well, why can’t I? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t you just love me for who I am?’

“And in our relationship, and in my parenting relationship with her, that was a huge defining moment. I woke up and I heard her and that changed how I parented her. I really taught her how to advocate for herself, and really taught her how to think about what her needs were.”

Jordan, Karen’s daughter, is about to graduate from college. The same daughter that Karen was told “was not going to have friends, not be able to get a job, not graduate high school, not go on to post-secondary, not be able to live on her own.

“And she has done all these things. And she’s done all these things, with honours, and with flying colours and just a breath of fresh air. And she’s just a beautiful joy to be around. She has her struggles, but her whole theory, her whole motto in life is I don’t want to have regrets.”

With Jordan as her example Karen started saying yes to every opportunity to speak about her amazing daughter “yes to anybody who wanted to talk to me, any platform where I could start telling my story because there is somebody who needs to hear it.”

Karen has done podcasts and Facebook lives with audiences all around the world. She won a prestigious speaking prize at John Maxwell where she was learning to perfect her craft.

When Karen wonders if maybe she is doing this for herself, not for others with special needs children, she gets a message from someone who has heard her story and was impacted by it. That keeps her going.

Karen’s advice for anyone considering stepping out of their comfort zone? “So to step outside of your comfort zone is terrifying. And it is hard

“And of course, within our comfort zone, there’s also that terror barrier  – that really big thick elastic band that you’ve got to really push against in order to break through.

“So my advice is for you to create some type of vision board of what you want your life to look like outside of that comfort zone. So really commit to that: write it down if you like to journal, create a vision board, make a video blog. Before you actually begin, visualize and know what that end looks like. So that when you start to feel that resistance, when your limiting beliefs start to kick in, you go back to that, and you say ‘yes, this is why I’m doing it. This is where I need to be.’

“Because you don’t need to know the path but you need to know where to go, the path will be revealed one step at a time.”

And Karen has told me a book is somewhere in her future!

Thank you for sharing Karen.

About Karen:

Karen Anne Fasulo found out when her daughter was 11, that she was Autistic and not just shy. Karen learned very quickly that she also required a lot of support.  However, everyone she spoke to didn’t understand HER, The mom.  9 years later and lots of learning, Karen Anne Fasulo, is a Certified Coach, Trainer, and Speaker as well as a Certified D.I.S.C. Behaviour Analysis Trainer, and uses her training, but also her personal experience to help parents just like YOU navigate through the steps to happier, healthier family life. Karen’s motto is in order to have a great relationship with your children, you first must have a great relationship with yourself.

Self Awareness is Key

Image by me (Fiona), Words by me based on an interview with Rachel

Rachel started her interview with me by telling me about the time she left her job to focus on her typewriter poetry business – Typolar.

She has an old 1970s typewriter and she types poems on the spot on the subject requested. This started as Rachels side hustle but she took a leap and started working on it full time.

Leaving her job was not hard for Rachel. As someone who is neurodivergent, with ADHD and autism, she never felt like she was a 100% fit for her role. It was not all bad, but she decided to give being her own boss a shot!

Typolar was going well, but winter was approaching and Rachel was not sure about busking in winter. “I got interested in the neurodivergence space, I went to a symposium and heard about these interesting things with neurodivergence and employment. And I just thought I want to find a way to get the stories out there! So I studied marketing.”

I asked Rachel how making these decisions felt “I think on one hand I was terrified. On the other hand, I also thought I had nothing to lose.

“I already had my lowest points in employment, how much worse could entrepreneurship possibly get? It comes down to not having any regrets. Even if something was a bad decision, the human spirit is ultimately quite resilient.”

The resiliency was a theme throughout our interview. It is something she leans a lot on these days.

Rachel learned a few things about herself while on this journey: She was a better business person than she assumed, that her ADHD trait of being good in emergencies helped her adapt quickly to changing circumstances, and that trusting herself led to much better outcomes than taking on other opinions.

One of the other benefits Rachel discovered by being out of her comfort zone is not to fear failure. Writing poetry on request meant that sometimes (not often!) the poem wasn’t what the customer wanted.  And Rachel learned that it was not the end of the world if that happened!  Also “people are more afraid of the social judgement that comes with that rather than the actual failure itself. So once you realise that it’s actually about being afraid of other people’s judgement on that failure, you go, ‘Okay, well, why do you care about that person’s opinion because they’re more worried about their own judgement’”

As for advice to anyone thinking about stepping out of their comfort zone: “number one is self-awareness. Really understanding yourself as to what are you good at? What are you not good at? What do you really want to achieve in life? And sitting down and mapping out all those different strengths, interests, weaknesses. Then using that to help with making a decision on whether to step out of that comfort zone and do your own thing or even making a tough decision about your career.”

Rachel also advises to think about just how important decisions are – what is critical at 19 may not be such a big deal at 90 when you look back on your life.

And of course, Rachel had a chance to give me some final words, powerful ones “I think the more the more that people are self-aware of what they want to do, what they want to do to be happy. I think it’s just better for society. I think if we just worry less about other people’s judgement, if we just even stop judging people in general. I think everyone will just be a lot happier, society be more productive. work will be far more pleasant. A lot of social issues and political crises will be resolved. If we just stop being judgmental about other people’s differences and embracing everyone’s neurodivergence.”

About Rachel:

My day job is being the CEO of Neurodiversity Media, a global tech-enabled media company that combines journalistic flair, marketing insight and legal rigour to unleash potential in the workplace. Our signature product is our Resource Library platform, our one-stop shop for news, products and services for all things neurodiversity in the workplace. Join as a free member today: www.neurodiversitymedia.com/join.

My first business and current side hustle, typepolar, is my creative outlet where I write poems on demand at weddings, parties and events. I also do personalised poetry commissions for gifts.