Tag: #newskill

Driving out of your comfort zone!

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Image by me (Fiona)
Words by me based on an interview with Rosie

I am writing this before I discover if Rosie did get her driver’s licence!

Rosie did her interview with me the day of her test. “For context. I’m 30 years old. And as we’re talking right now, I’m going for my driver licence for the first time this afternoon.”

“It is exciting. And it’s one of those things where, because it’s a more commonplace thing, it’s almost scarier to start doing. Because it’s easy for everyone else, right? I’m someone who most skills come very, very easily to me, if I just apply myself. But most things you can learn with no audience and without the risk of an injury to yourself or a very expensive object.

“So, driving, like deciding to want to, and then actually going through the process of learning. It’s really, really, really outside of my comfort zone. And this is probably the fourth attempt to learn…to get to the point where I’m okay to go for go for the test. And you know, if I don’t pass this test, that’s okay. I’ll go for it again. And it’s now almost like it’s inevitable that I’ll get my license. Whereas before it was something that was just impossible.”

I asked Rosie what the driver was – after all she was 30 and had not been able to drive until now “The moment that I realised I actually wanted this was I was talking to my partner. He said something like, it would be really nice to go on a road trip with you and to not be the only one driving.  And he didn’t say it in a judgy kind of way. It was very much like it would be really nice.  So partly out of wanting to be an equal part in the relationship and wanting to give that to him. That’s one side of it.”

“The other side of it is I’m someone who hasn’t really shied away from scary things. I tried stand up comedy. I’ve gotten up on stages and spoken, I’ve sung in public. Why was this one thing so impossible for me? And if it’s so impossible, why not do it just to prove I can do the impossible, right? So those were the things that nudged me towards it.”

Rosie realised that to stop herself from getting overwhelmed she needed to take really small steps – step one was driving 4 blocks on a back street, and she repeated that step until she felt ready to move to 8 blocks. She found this technique made it a lot easier to keep learning.

Rosie’s biggest fear is messing up publicly. With potential consequences to others or other objects. “Competency has been something that’s carried me a long way in most of my life and being seen in an incompetent way–while inherently and logically I know there’s nothing wrong with it–it still makes me feel really really awful. And some part of me is sure I’m dying when I make a fool of myself in public.”

Of course I asked Rosie for her advice to others contemplating getting uncomfortable “fear is excitement with judgment placed on it. Right? If you just felt those physical sensations, and you didn’t have a story attached, you would call that excitement. So, fear is useful. It keeps us safe. But if it’s something that isn’t actually going to actually threaten your safety or well being, then find a way to interact with it.”

“Take a baby step like I did driving four blocks, or just spend time cultivating, wanting it. The more you think about that, the more it becomes a familiar thought in your reality, the more likely it’s going to feel available to you And eventually you’ll do it. Eventually you’ll find that energy and that space for yourself. “

And Rosie’s final words for you “The times I’ve pushed out of my comfort zone, I do not have many regrets. But of the times that I had the opportunity to [do something], and I didn’t?  I look back on those I see what it could have done for myself. If I can encourage you just try something little, most things won’t kill us. So why not? Why not give it to ourselves?”

Thanks Rosie. I hope you are driving happily right now!

Just pick up the toothpick!

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Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash
Words by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Sarah

Sarah agreed to be interviewed as she is trying to say yes as much as possible, she has found that stepping out of her comfort zone encourages her to do it more often.

We spoke specifically about Sarah learning Taekwondo. A few years ago Sarah was challenged by her coach to “do something that I wasn’t comfortable with doing”. Sarah is an outgoing person and often pushes herself, but she “tend[s] to do it in an area that I’m still quite knowledgeable in or experienced in or doesn’t fill me with too much fear”.

So at around 40 Sarah started learning Taekwondo. It was not just out of her comfort zone to learn something new, “I’ve never had really had a hobby, never really committed to anything that consistently I am entirely not sporty. I have a terrible memory and I’m not particularly coordinated.”

Sarah even found that there was a challenge within her challenge. “One of the biggest challenges I had was as part of doing Taekwondo. You shout to help signal when something’s completed, or when you hit someone if you’re sparring. And then despite being very vocal, and despite being very comfortable with being loud and singing to have quite a strong voice, I actually found that for a good six to eight weeks of me doing Taekwondo, I couldn’t do the shouting.”

When Sarah took on her coaches challenge, she didn’t even consider the benefits of doing so, she just accepted the challenge. But on reflection there were definitely upsides. Learning taekwondo had its own perks – fitness, improved coordination, an hour where work is not even considered, and meeting new people are some of those – but there were also benefits that were outside of those. For Sarah she learned that the initial discomfort doesn’t last very long, and you might get something fun from the experience! “And I think this stepping out of the comfort zone just made me realise that you know you never too old to do it either. So you are never too old to try a new career, try a new sport, pick up something new”

I asked Sarah (surprise!) about advice for someone else considering stepping out of their comfort zone “The same advice I got given, which was just pick up the toothpick. My coach taught me a game… where you picking up toothpicks, and get little bits of feedback every time until you pick up the correct toothpick. And when kids play the game, they just play it really quickly. And they just take the feedback and they just respond very quickly. But the older we get, we have more fear and there’s more embarrassment that stops us from doing things like stepping out of your comfort zone or trying new experiences or new jobs or new careers or whatever it is that you’re doing. And she has constantly said to me, just pick up the toothpick, just pick up the toothpick and I, probably on a weekly basis, think to myself just pick up the toothpick, Sarah, just have a go. And if it doesn’t work out, you don’t like it or you find that you’re not particularly good at it but you love it, then you’ve got more knowledge about yourself than you did before. So my advice would be the same that she gave me which was pick up the toothpick and you might get something great come out.”

Thank you, Sarah!

Equine assisted Learning!

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Karen & Duke

So why would a person who was terrified of horses agree to partake in a session of equine assisted learning? 

“Really to understand what she did. And I’ve seen some posts on LinkedIn from a couple of other people I know who’d been up to Kinglake, and came back. And the stuff that surfaced, just in terms of your communication style, and your leadership style made me want to do it.” 

So what did it involve? 

“Karen Ostenried runs a program of equine assisted learning. She uses horses for team building, leadership programs, and all sorts of awesome stuff and she invited me and my partner up to see what she does. 

“As a child, I had a very unfortunate experience with a horse. And I’ve got this fear of horses.  

“Even before we went up there Karen said I could stay outside the arena, I didn’t need to go in – everybody has their comfort zone. So, on that basis, I said, Okay, let’s go.  

So up we went to King Lake. And we did stand outside the arena.  

“We had a bit of prep first and we stood outside the arena. And Karen introduced us to Duke who’s pretty tall. So she introduced us from afar and I watched, and then she told me and showed us what we’re going to be doing and just really eased us into a sense of a feeling of comfort, if you like. 

“then we went into then we went into the arena and she gave us some brushes. With a bit of a trepidation I to started to brush Duke, who was quite happy! So it was nothing to fear really. Then she taught us how to recognize the body language of the horse. Duke had become part of our team.  We had to take Duke with us to overcome problems and challenges. It was all like these obstacle courses set up on the in the arena that we had to take Duke through with us as a team.  

“It was a big step up by set aside my comfort zone for me, but I think I was able to do it. I was very surprised by how far I got! 

 “I was amazed at the end of it, but I think I was able to do it because it was done in baby steps. It wasn’t a big jump. If Karen had opened the door to that arena and said, right, come on in and grab hold of Duke I don’t think I would have moved. I was able to succeed because there was coaching and support throughout to get to the point.” 

One of the lessons Karen took out was that when leading Duke, if she looked back she confused him! She had to keep looking and moving forward to have him follow her. It was about setting clear direction for your team. 

At this point I must be honest, I am keen to see how I can participate in Equine Assisted learning! 

But I stayed focused and asked Karen about what drives her to step out of her comfort zone. “I think it helps you grow as a person. And I think if we never step out of our comfort zone, nothing will ever change. It’s just inertia. So I’m very much all about that growth mindset. You know about development, learning and growing. And there’s never a point at which you can’t be better at something or you can’t improve the way you lead or coach or whatever it might be or you can improve your communication skills. So I think it’s all about that learning and getting better. And when you are better at something and more comfortable with it, that’s when your comfort zone is growing. And I think it just enables you to do more and more.” 

Thank you, Karen, for sharing your amazing experience! 

The link to the EAL experience is: https://the-matanya-effect.com.au/ 

SUP!

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Words and story by me (Fiona)
Photo by Krzysztof Kowalik on Unsplash

You may have realised by now I rarely say no to trying something new. But a friend who I visit twice a year has asked a few times about me trying Stand Up Paddleboarding (SUP) with her and while I have never said no, I never jumped at the chance either. I am not sure why, but I felt like I would be really bad at it. This last visit was different. I said yes! 

Firstly, I kayaked while my friend SUP’d. And got a great workout while having loads of fun! Then on day 2 we arranged for me to borrow a SUP, a nice big, stable one and off we went. 

I was given the option of kneeling but chose to try and stand, with her holding the board. I wobbled. I knelt. I squatted. I did something vaguely resembling a downward dog. And repeated that cycle a few times. Eventually I stood! 

And started paddling carefully.  

We were in a creek, with only a light breeze. I headed off, slowly and carefully. With occasional tips about my arm position and technique. I must confess that despite being told more than once that the paddle was my friend to help stabilise me it never felt that way!  

Then my feet got sore. I was gripping the board with them. My friend suggested I move them a little. And suddenly I was back on my knees! I am not sure what process my brain went through, but apparently even the thought of moving my feet panicked me! But I didn’t fall off 😊 

We paddled across to the far bank, with me staying on my knees. Then cut back across to get out of the breeze. The day was mildly warm, the view was amazing, and my friend was so stable she had a drink on the front of her board! It was delightful. 

At the turn around point I decided I wanted to try standing again. Without my friend to stabilise my board. There was a replay of the kneel, squat, downward dog, kneel cycle a few times before I finally managed to get myself upright again. I was so proud!! 

I stood for about half the trip, kneeling when the breeze picked up. 

I loved SUP. But I think I will try kayaking again, I felt a lot more stable sitting down!! 

Remember Your Why

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Photo by Valentín Betancur on Unsplash
Story by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Tessa

I heard Tessa speak recently and I immediately found (stalked?) her online and asked if she was willing to be interviewed for this blog. To my excitement she agreed – and the interview did not disappoint me! 

Tessa believes that stepping out of your comfort zone helps you grow. And that sometimes you need to do it to get where you want to be in life. 

“I’d worked in marketing for some time, probably for about 10 years of my career. My comfort zone got pushed, but I’d say moderately, such as when you learn a new role you step up.  

“I had this conversation with my GM of HR at Spark Digital. And she said, ‘What is your ambition? Where do you want to go?’ And told her that one day I’d love to be a CEO of kind of moderate sized organization. ‘I’m trying to work out the skills I need to get there. And I think I need more commercial skills.’ 

“And you know, that moment where you put something out into the universe, but you never expect anyone to act on it? Probably within about three days, she came up to me: ‘We’ve had this business manager resign in our enterprise sales team, one of the sales managers, I’m putting you up for the role’.” 

Tessa wondered what she could add as the leader of a team much more experienced than she was, particularly in sales. But her GM encouraged her (strongly!) to take the jump, to get those skill she needs. There was a full interview process and testing, and Tessa got the job! 

Her new boss told Tessa that she needed a marketer in sales, a big thinker. Someone to shake up her leadership team. 

The announcement of her new role – alongside an internal promotion announced at the same time – was really hard “It was deathly silent, you could have heard a pin drop. And then there were a couple of people who knew me from marketing who started to click. This was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I was taking on sales in a big portfolio. And I had a room of 80 people who had no idea who I was and were confused as to why a marketer was given one of the most preeminent positions in sales.” 

Tessa realised that she needed to focus on coaching her team as a leader, not trying to coach them in sales. This she realised would stand her in good stead as a CEO – after all you cannot be the expert in all aspects of the company you run. 

It was not easy! “About the 10-week mark, I had a complete meltdown. I didn’t know how to coach these people. They were much older. They were older than me, and more experienced than me in sales. I ended up back in my GM of HRs office in floods of tears. And with my GM of Sales basically picking me up off the floor because I said ‘I can’t do this, I have to leave. I’m not the person you need. I’m not doing anything.’ And they quickly got support around me. They listened and then said, ‘Okay, so how do we move forward?’  

“And they gave me a leadership coach who helped me to separate fact from myth. I had a whole lot of language in my head. I suppose that voice that you talk to yourself with was really highly critical. And that voice kept saying to me, ‘you’re getting this wrong and you don’t know that, you don’t know this’, and I couldn’t hear the things that people were actually saying to me. I had a person on my team, who said to me ‘You’re a breath of fresh air. You just bring something different. I love watching you in front of customers.’ And I couldn’t hear that I could only hear. ‘I don’t know what to tell them to sell and I don’t understand the system well enough to sell it.’ 

“My coach helped me to grow my understanding. ‘Listen to the voice in your head and write down what it says and then see if there is any data that supports it. Is there anybody said that directly to you? Is there anything that backs it up?’ and then ‘Okay, now write down the facts. What are people saying to you?’ Understand that difference between fact and myth. 

The lessons Tessa learned in her first 12 months – that it is ok to ask for help, and that sometimes you don’t know what help you need until you hit rock bottom being two of those lessons – aided her in putting up her hand when Spark Digital decided to go Agile. 

“I learned at that point that ambiguity is fine. And I don’t know what I don’t know and no one else does either. So we’re going to learn and I think the year of sales had taught me how to learn again, taught me how to walk into something that’s really uncomfortable and realize you’re going to be okay. My husband said to me at one point ‘What’s the worst that can happen? You leave sales and get another job? Is that so bad? You know, there are worse things.’ 

“And sometimes I think we compare up too much. We imagine if this was better, or if only this was like this. Instead [we could be] saying ‘at least it’s not like this. I haven’t got an illness, at least I’m not struggling to make ends meet at the moment. I’ve had a successful career so far’. And I think sometimes comparing down is a really helpful technique to make you realize that you’re okay.  You’re just learning, and learning can be uncomfortable when you’ve been really good at knowing everything. 

“It did fundamentally shift me as a person and my ability to then take on the next challenge, and to now help other people take on bigger challenges.” 

Finally, Tessa advises to remember why you are doing what you are doing. What your north star is. That can help in tough times. 

Thank you Tessa for sharing your story with us! 

About Tessa:

As Product Director Tessa is responsible for designing and delivering products and service experiences that customers value. Tessa is also responsible for shaping Spark’s investments and maturing capability in digital, IT, data and experience design to deliver on future business needs. 

She joined Spark in November 2015 as the Manager of Brand, Communications and Events for Spark Digital before moving on to become Business Manager. In 2017, Tessa joined the team that was responsible for successfully transitioning Spark into an Agile organisation, and is regarded as one of New Zealand’s leading Agile and product development practitioners. 

Tessa brings to the role more than 16 years of experience in information and communication technologies, having previously held a variety of roles at Vodafone New Zealand. She has a Diploma in Communications Studies from Manukau Institute of Technology. 

Stepping onto the stage

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Words by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Vikki

For most people becoming the lead singer in a rock band qualifies as an experience where they would have to step way out of their comfort zone.   Vikki spoke to me recently about doing just that. 

A classically trained singer, Vikki felt no longer excited by what her singing was offering her. Serendipitously there was a rock school being run near her home and she decided to investigate. “I spoke to this chap who was running a Rock School. He was running a little Rock School in his studio in his house. It sounds bizarre, but it happened to be near where I lived, where you would never think there would be rock studios anyway. We had a good chat. He was classically trained as well. So, he understood where I was coming from. You need to get to a point where you enjoy what you’re doing not just to get the grades and improve. I was excited, so I signed up to take the lessons that he was offering through the school. I met this cool guy who’d worked with Wendy Matthews. He was just absolutely awesome. So, I did some work with him, and then I was able to go into the little rock group that was there at this school, which was tiny.” 

And guess what? That is not even Vikki out of her comfort zone – that moment came when she decided to audition for the Weekend Warriors! 

Weekend Warriors auditioned people and then grouped them into bands – so 20 people would become 4 or 5 bands. It was being run by Paul Christie from Mondo Rock. 

“So, what took me out of my comfort zone, getting to the point where I could consider crossing its boundaries was, I guess, that I was no longer stimulated with these other things. I was looking for something else. I was also thinking how old am I going to be before I suddenly become courageous? I wish I had done this in my 20s. At what point do I know? Am I going to be 75 and then be ready? I started searching for answers on the internet regarding the meaning of life. I found this article and there were about five or six things on there. So, the first one was kind of ‘tick, I’m doing that’. Two was ‘tick, yeah, I’m doing that.’ I got to number four or five? And it said, ‘where are you making a fool of yourself?’ And the seventh one was something like ‘and how are you changing the world?’ They really resonated. And I went ‘well, I think this is it.’ I’m looking at having a midlife crisis, deciding I need to find my courage at some point and find this article telling me that I should be out there making a fool of myself. So here I am. This is it. This is what I’ve got to do. I remember sitting in the car waiting to go in and just absolutely terrified, and then I did it.” 

Vikki was very nervous, and as she sang during the audition, Paul looked deep into her eyes and held her hand. She was placed in a band and after 4 weeks of rehearsals they put on a show! Was the audition or the show more nerve racking? The audition was scarier, but the show was also terrifying. Vikki got more comfortable over time, even when she was occasionally off pitch. 

We discussed whether this step outside Vikki’s comfort zone impacted other areas of her life, and she isn’t sure! A whole lot of change all happened around the same time. 

She did learn though. “I think I spent too many years thinking you can only be a singer, for example, if you are making number one records in the charts.   So, I never saw a place for me or the journey there. I think that just giving this a go, taught me to ‘just give it a go’ in general.   And it’s the only way to move forward.   But I think I was always waiting to be amazing before. Don’t wait for amazing. That’s it.   Don’t wait for amazing.”  

Just as we were finishing off the interview Vikki had another important insight she wanted to share – the importance of having fun! “I think one of the other insights or lessons I’ve got is the having fun part.   My journey has included singing in this rock studio tucked away near where I live, then to go into this Golf Club, rock school shows, and I’ve been to Frankie’s in the city with my own band. And so, I feel like I’ve done that, without doing sort of a stadium. I’ve had a big enough taste. The more my band hit these goals, the less fun I was having. So suddenly, the fun elements weren’t there anymore, which I find interesting. I actually had more fun towards the middle. The key message for me is do things for fun, not for gain.   Do it because you love it, do it for fun, do the fun bits of it. Hitting Frankie’s was ‘my ego’s in here now because we’re doing Frankie’s’, but I just didn’t get anything out of it. I didn’t enjoy it. Yeah, a tick in the box, but I didn’t enjoy it. At the same time all these good things were happening for me. I was having leadership coaching, getting the role as a coach, moving into this new space. I feel more connected with the people around me than I ever have. Gee, I didn’t think I was really having a lot of fun at work until I moved into this role. Now it’s become part of my mantra, because if I’m having fun, then I am going to be at my best. And that, I’d say is a lesson that’s gone across both the hobby as well as work. Come to think of it, the one change that’s gone across both my hobby and work and that I proudly call one of my superpowers is  

“the courage to step into the void and trust it”. 

Vikki is currently writing and recording her own music which she realises will not be amazing and she is totally ok with that, because it’s precisely this activity that brings her the most joy 

Thanks Vikki! 

Words of Wisdom

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Words by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Niall

Niall is a frequent leaver of his comfort zone, but writing a book was something very new for him so we chatted about that. 

Why a book? “It’s a big commitment to myself, and the community where I was noticing a lot of people were having quite opinionated conversations about things they said were important to them. And I was engaging in that and getting involved. At some point it became clear that it’d be useful, given my experience, to take a bit of a bigger step in and get that opinion documented as opposed to sitting and sort of throwing ‘throw away’ comments. 

“[Also] with some recent work activities it became evident that I’d gone through quite a unique experience. If it could be distilled and articulated for others to understand and appreciate, and learn from, that would be of good value to serve those around me.” 

I wondered if Niall knew just how far out of his comfort zone he would get before he started writing? “If I had known at the time the effort, energy and commitment it would take I might have paused a touch, but I think that’s the whole point. Often you leap in intuitively to do things. They feel right for you, so you leap into the unknown. I think that’s sort of part of the excitement. And then you work it out as you go.” 

Niall shared with me some of the tough times – he feels he has just come through one of the turbulent periods where “I think with any large complex undertaking this there’s this moment where you really do feel completely lost. And you’re right in the middle of that highly ambiguous, I used to call them ‘the upside down without the paddle in the creek after canoeing’, phase, where you don’t know which way is up and you’re in the turbulence of trying to settle down. You don’t quite know what the next step is. Or you take a step and realize it’s in the wrong direction and you have to undo that step or pivot left or right, which can be frustrating. I’m confident that I’m past that now, the previous six weeks have been that period.” 

The thing that got Niall through that phase was the approach he had taken from the start – test and learn often and early. “Risk the voice of cynicism, the voice of judgment, on what I’m putting out there”. 

Of course, I asked for Niall’s advice to anyone considering a step out of their comfort zone – small or large: “You need people who can give you your temperature check because you’re the frog in the bath and the temperature is slowly rising. So, you need someone to say it’s getting pretty hot around you and you’re going to cook yourself. Someone who’s close to you can call you on it.  

“I think you need to really deeply assess the reasons that you’re doing the things you’re doing. Have a conversation with yourself – ask who is this serving? It’s okay if it’s serving you. But helping and serving others is something that is not only very rewarding, it gets people quite interested in, and involved in, any idea you have. Simply pursuing it for selfish reasons is something I’d check in with. Having people around you checking while you’re doing it. And do not go into a room for a month and sit around thinking you’ve got a great idea. Talk to someone five minutes after you think you’ve got that idea and test it. And then keep doing that as often as make sense because if your throwing your heart and soul and energy into something I think getting feedback early and often is a great way to just make sure you don’t waste your time and energy and effort.” 

And Niall’s last words: 
“I think if we can keep our world expanding, even in a very, very small way, it is what we’re here to be as humans. I don’t think we’re here to be shrinking smaller people. No matter how small, it might be scary for you, but take the steps to stretch and get out of your comfort zone. Understanding it takes energy and commitment and support network but really, I do think we’re here to reach our potential and to do that you need to get near the edge or sometimes over the line that defines where you’re comfortable. So keep doing it.” 

A bit about Niall:
I work as an agent of change, promoting agility through education, coaching and modelling of new behaviours.

I disrupt inefficient as-is practices using a gentle but influential consulting approach that embeds new values and principles of work. My goal being the development of a high-performing sustainable lean-agile delivery culture.

I am always about results and have been a coach my whole working life, firstly in professional sports, then leadership and for the last 10 years, agile transformation. Coaching is the core capability which supports the advisor/consultant roles I perform.

My work centres around guiding clients towards the establishment of new enterprise lean-agile delivery models; it is tough but rewarding work; I love it and the challenges it presents.

Gaining Something New

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Words by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Elisa

Elisa shared a different perspective with me – she carefully considered and attempted something specifically to get herself out of her comfort zone! 

“I actually regularly get out of my comfort zone when I’m at my work. If there’s something new and shiny to try – count me in! Nobody else would like to tackle a complex problem – I’m there! You want an early adopter or an exemplar to be used as guinea pig – Yes please.   

At the beginning of this year I realised that trying out new things at work is no longer “getting out of my comfort zone”. I needed something else to challenge me. I came up with these choices:  

1. Publish a book (this will take time and still scares me so much. Brene Brown didn’t manage to dare me for this yet)   

2. Jump from a plane over 10k feet and sky dive (I’m very scared of heights and I heard that sky diving will fix that. The only thing stopping me from doing this is well my anxiety attack. I tend to feel faint if I go higher than 4th floor of a building)   

3. Learn something physical, which I haven’t done before – either dance, music, martial arts   

Luckily both my daughters are karate students and since I’m already spending half our Saturdays at the dojo I might as well learn like them! So, I’m now into my fourth month of karate. So far, so good I haven’t received any real combos, but I do get bruised sheens from all the kicking.” 

Elisa had other good reasons for choosing karate “I chose karate out of all the challenging things I can do because right now it’s the most realistic challenge that I can sustain for more than 2 tries. I also wanted to see how I learn using my body, coordination, fitness (or lack thereof) and focus. I noticed that I love learning, but most of my learning have only been applied using my head and my mouth for talking a lot about it. This time I would like to learn differently.” 

I asked Elisa about her emotional journey, and she described it well “Before my first class, I was a ball of nerves. My oldest daughter is a brown belt and I’ve watched enough of her classes for the last 3 years to know how physically intimidating and exhausting learning karate can be. I worried about the fact that I don’t know how to do push-ups properly, I am not the sportiest person and don’t have stamina, and if [I would] able to follow the karate combos they will teach my class.   

The Saturday class is a “mixed belt” class which means I’m learning with the higher belts too! My first class was brutal! I had to be slammed (dropped) a few times during my class. I think I did more push ups and sit ups in a span of 20 minutes than all the push ups/sits ups I’ve done in the 42 years I’ve been on this planet. I struggled, felt like my heart would be ripped off my chest at some point. I was wiping sweat off my face every second wondering where the waterfall down my forehead was coming from. The higher belts kept telling me I was going well for a first-timer, which I guessed encouraged me to not leave the mats in the middle of the class and throw up.   

After my first ever class finished, I sorely walked to the change room. I felt totally wasted. But by the time I reached the car I wanted to go back in and do it again! I didn’t realise how fun and exhilarating it would be to get slammed.  

I’m now coming into my 4th month of learning. I have my eye on that yellow belt. I’ll take this one belt at a time. I’ve also noticed a confidence I’ve only seen in bad-ass heroines before. Wow, do I have my shoulders more upright and my head higher. And damn can I push up!  

Regarding stepping out of her comfort zone again, Elisa was clear “Yes. I’ll be working towards going up that list of challenges. I do somehow someday would like to deal with my fear of heights. And also publish a book. The interesting thing is seeing which will come first?’’ 

Elisa’s last words are: “Leaving a comfort zone for me means learning something new. It may be about something, about ourselves. If we frame it this way I feel more people would be bolder and take more risk. Because it’s not about losing our comfort, it’s about gaining something to improve ourselves, to feel fuller and well, new-er?   

“Thanks for letting me share my karate story! Happy to share how my grading will go in 4 months’ time.” 

Thank you Elisa!