Tag: #publicspeaking

The breath of fresh air

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Image by me (Fiona)
Words by me based on an interview with Valerie

Valerie finds that outside of her comfort zone is where you feel the wonder of new beginnings.

In early 2020 Valerie was at the pinnacle of her career in marketing and advertising – the chief marketing officer. This was a role achieved as part of 20 years in the industry, and something Valerie was very comfortable doing.

Then the pandemic hit and Valerie lost her job.

Shortly after that a friend contacted her “do you know a speaker or anybody who can help us understand Facebook, understand the digital space, understand this new world because we all were forced to go virtual?”

Valerie initially recommended a few people. But they were outside her friend’s budget.

So she volunteered her own services!

While this sort of training was new to Valerie, she had the mindset, the experience and her NLP training to call on.

Not that she didn’t have second thoughts. With 300 people to train she initially was not sure what she was going to say to them!

Valerie thinks her friend was actually hoping she would offer.

Fast forward a year and Valerie has trained over 3500 people from all over the world!

This was not the first or last time Valerie stepped outside her comfort zone – she was the first of her friends to work overseas, and she chose Cambodia instead of the more popular Singapore to do that. That was a year well out of her comfort zone with no knowledge of the language, and a very different lifestyle that included not even owning a mirror!

She also dated online well before it was commonplace. She married her partner in a private ceremony “we just we just exchanged vows and I gave our family and friends messages and poems to share with us and that was it. Of course I’m biased but it connected us to our family and it connected us to our friends.”

Valerie has advice for others thinking about stepping out of their comfort zone “Mel Robbins has this NLP technique when you count 54321. When you count backwards your brain shifts from being emotional (being afraid, feeling like you can’t do this) to the executive function, your cognitive brain. This makes you more logical.

“So 54321 you count and then you hit the button! You just start with your commit – you share with the world, you share on your facebook so that you’re on the hook and you just do it.”

Wonderful advice Valerie!

Valerie Fischer helps online business owners increase revenue growth with Brain Science Selling. You can find out more about her at her Facebook page or website www.valeriefischer.net.

Talking about being out of your comfort zone

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A dandelion seed puff
Words and image by me (Fiona)

Back when we first entered lockdown I came across an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone – by talking about stepping out of my comfort zone!

Julia Steel had a brave idea to set up a series of free online webinars (called Vid19) and hold several a day for 19 days. And she asked for volunteers.

I decided to offer… but I gave Julia an out!

My message was “Hi Julia, I love the idea of your virtual conference! I have an idea for a session on stepping out of your comfort zone, but wanted to check if you are happy to have someone with very little speaking experience before I submitted the form – I will not be at all offended if you are seeking more polished presenters!”

And Julia responded with “By all means throw it in, love the irony of you doing it is you stepping outside of your comfort zone”.

I filled out the form, at this stage quite terrified, but also knowing I had a soft landing. I started worrying about things like what if nobody signed up for my session!

About a week later I was presenting.

I did not prep as much as I felt I should, but I had a few slides (so people were not looking just at me) and a blog full of stories to share. So I just went for it!

Most of the feedback was about my soothing voice (does anyone know how I get into mindfulness voiceovers?). But people also seemed to enjoy the stories I had to tell.

Julia was extremely supportive. And the way it was run I actually have no idea to this day how big or small the audience was! From recall about half a dozen answered in the chat box when I asked questions.

I am pleased with how it went, acknowledging there is lots of room for improvement! And I’m willing to give it another go at some stage. I will take that as a win.

Genuine Confidence

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Photo by Kane Reinholdtsen on Unsplash
Story by Fiona based on an interview with Beresford

So how do you go from being a really shy kid to wanting to speak in an auditorium? Beresford has taken that very path!  

As an example of Beresford’s starting point, at about age 20 he was the best man at his cousins wedding, and as we all know part of the best man role is to give a speech. Despite preparing his speech, and knowing his cousin quite well, Beresford “just froze and I couldn’t even open my mouth. I just stood there, and it seemed endless. I just didn’t say anything. In the end I ended up saying ‘the bridesmaids look good’. And I walked off. Those are the only words that came out of my mouth. And it was really embarrassing.” 

At this point many people would just decide public speaking was not for them! But Beresford was motivated to improve. His dad was an excellent and sought after public speaker – both rehearsed and off the cuff.  After some research it was suggested that Beresford try Toastmasters.  And a mere 15-20 years later he joined. 

Through Toastmasters Beresford has not just gained confidence, but also skill. His first speech “didn’t come out the way I wanted it to, it was kind of bland. There wasn’t a lot of energy.” 

Beresford is working on bringing out his personality more when he speaks, he is motivated to keep getting better and better at public speaking, as well as his goal to speak to an audience of over 1000 people. 

Part of the motivation for Beresford, aside from wanting to improve himself, is to help other people develop as well. “I’m one of the mentors for the Melbourne University programme. I’m one of the panel members, helping young people develop their capabilities and skills. It’s not only for myself, but it’s also for others that I try to share my knowledge.” 

Beresford also spoke to me about how building his confidence in public speaking has made him more confident to take on other challenges. 

In 2019 Beresford was one of the new Ways of Working coaches at Telstra, a role you had to put in an expression of interest for. “Being a coach involves changing people’s mindset. Which is not easy to do. It’s a different aspect of your confidence, because previously it’s being confident to go up and speak in front of a group of people, but now it’s actually speaking to a person individually, and changing that person’s mindset.  

“The way I’ve handled things in the past was someone’s got their mindset, and I just told them what my opinions are. And it’s up to them to change if they wanted to. But now being in the Agile ways of working, and the company has gone in a certain direction, it’s more that I have to make sure they are moving in that direction.” 

The rewards of coaching can also be more delayed than giving a speech – one example Beresford gave me was working with someone for 6 weeks before having a breakthrough “After six weeks, they said ‘oh yeah, I can start to see the benefits. Now even though we are building code, we can still talk to our colleagues every day for about 15 minutes. And at least try and understand what the blockers are and we can remove those blockers’”. 

Beresford had an interesting take away from that experience “And what I realised was, if you tell someone once, it kind of goes in one ear and out the other. But if you keep telling them the same thing, they start to believe it. So, if I tell someone, ‘you’re an idiot’? First time, it’s just goes in and out. But if I keep telling them the same thing over and over again, they start to believe it.” Makes you think about what messages we are putting out there. 

Confidence was a common theme throughout Beresford’s chat with me, but he also talked about being genuine. “People need to be able to trust you. Because you can have all the confidence in the world, right? If you go to a car yard, the car salesman has got a lot of confidence, but I don’t trust them. So you may have the confidence but you still have to be genuine. People can pick that up pretty easily.” 

If you are considering stepping out of your comfort zone, Beresford has some advice for you: “Know your weaknesses and don’t procrastinate – commit!” 

About Beresford:
Beresford is a fellow Ways of Working coach at Telstra. He is also passionately involved at Toastmasters

A relatable fear – public speaking!

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Photo by Filippo Ruffini on Unsplash
Words by Fiona Whitehead based on an interview with another Fiona

Fiona shared with me a story of an experience many people dread – presenting to an audience. And I am going to start with her ‘last words’. “I was speaking candidly with one of our Telstra Directors recently, who is a woman I really admire and value her leadership qualities.  We were talking about speaking in public and even she admitted she gets nervous every time she speaks in front of people.  We spoke about how it makes us feel and how we can overcome the challenges to deliver the messages we are needing to deliver.  So goes to show – even our leaders feel the same as us.” 

I have a similar experience (as well as a similar name!) when several years ago a panel of speakers at an International Women’s Day event shared their shared fear of public speaking – one to the point of nausea! 

In Fiona’s example she had to present to both her senior leaders and the people ‘on the ground’ about the work she was doing. Fiona had many stakeholders wanting to know about her work, a project that continually changed direction, and operational teams who would not hold back on sharing feedback. “I think I was more nervous delivering to the operational teams than to senior leaders – because it’s the people on the ground who understand what needs to be done and will not let any stone unturned.” 

It was important to get this right as she had to ensure everyone involved was on board with the changes.  

As with many things, preparation was key “I had prepared well thinking of all the types of questions I might be asked but in the end I was asked very few. [It] went much better than I had played it out in my head.” 

I think Fiona’s feelings throughout this process are very relatable “Prior to the session I was nervous, plus I was last on the agenda so I had to wait for everyone else to present and talk about their streams which had generated a lot of discussion.  During the presentation I was not really thinking about how I was feeling – because I was talking about my work. Which I knew well so could articulate the information back to the stakeholders.  At the end I felt relief it was over.” 

“As hard as it was, I would definitely step outside my comfort zone again.  I don’t think it gets easier but the feeling you get after the fact (when it goes well) is like a high better than any drug can provide.” 

Fiona has fabulous advice for anyone considering stepping out of their comfort zone: 

“Take a leap of faith and give it go.  No one knows what you are feeling on the inside unless you let them see it.  No one gets stronger sitting still in the corner.” 

About Fiona: 

Background about why presenting my project was out of my comfort zone – was mostly because it’s an ever changing environment in the Digitisation world where the project goal posts are constantly on the move and nothing is stable.  So trying to develop a project to deliver within a really tight timeframe and communicate it without displaying any of the doubts and fears I have to delivering that project – is a challenge.  The senior leaders were mostly ok about the changing goal posts because they are often kept up to date with the changes as they happen, but the operational teams are not and these are the guys being impacted by the processes and instructions I deliver.  So there is a huge amount of pressure for our team to deliver this well.