Tag: #steppingoutofyourcomfortzone

The Valley of Despair

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Photo by Mario Álvarez on Unsplash

Words by Fiona Whitehead based on an interview with Nolle

When I spoke to Nolle about a time she stepped out of her comfort zone professionally, her story was something I could really relate to – that moment when you move from being a team member to being a team leader within the same team!

Nolle spoke about there being many different examples of professionally stepping out of your comfort zone, but this one stood out for her. ‘’It’s a great compliment and it’s a great achievement, pay off for all your hard work but it also brings a lot of anxiety because where people were your friends and confided in you … they can become a little bit guarded. And it’s hard for human beings because they still want to be liked. It’s fundamental in our nature to still be liked. And when the dynamic changes … [it] can’t be the same … and the thing that you learn about stepping outside your comfort zone in that environment is that you can’t operate the way you would have previously.”

Next Nolle passed on to me something she learned from a mentor, the “Valley of Despair”. This I have experienced many times, I imagine you have too!

The Valley of Despair starts with the excitement of a new position or role. “This is fantastic”. This is the top of the valley. Then the time comes for you to start the role, and the doubts kick in. “I hope I can do this” which leads to you realising just how much you have to learn and you start going down the slope into the valley. You start thinking ‘’oh my god, is this is too much for me?. I don’t know if I can do it.” In addition, you are in the situation of managing people who were once your peers, so you are rebuilding relationships too.

In Nolle’s words “This is where some people check out and say ‘this is not for me’ or ‘I can’t do this’. But what happens is that if you can give yourself the time … be a bit easy with yourself and understand that this is what always happens with change. So then you start to get to know what you’re doing, start to establish relationships with people around you, start to get your self-belief back again, and start to learn the new systems, processes,  then you start to make that role your own. So you’re coming back up the other side of the valley, and then when you kick a couple of goals, whether the low hanging fruit or you think you’re getting the job done, you get feedback from your one up or two up, then you start to see you’re climbing right back up to the top of the valley.’’

What Nolle loves is that this pattern repeats every time she steps out of her comfort zone. When you know it is coming you can deal with it. ‘’It’s going to be a bit tough for a while, but then I’m going to be okay.”

And why does Nolle step out of her comfort zone?

“Well, I was always career hungry.  I think that’s because I grew up in Ireland where we didn’t have many opportunities, where I left school and went straight into full time work …  I was forever trying to prove to myself if I am I good enough … As I’ve got older and wiser, I think instead of trying to prove something to yourself … we have to ask ourselves what do we really want?”

As discussed with Nolle, professional risks tend to be more public and failure more frightening than risks in your personal life. She believes it is important to have goals, and that stepping out of your comfort zone is often needed to achieve those goals.

I found Nolle’s description of the Valley of Despair really helpful, I know I have experienced it often without having this great image to refer to. Next time I will know that the tough times will pass!

A bit about Nolle:
Currently working as a Business Partner Principal in the Transformation Delivery Office at Telstra.
Background:
Having worked in IT & Business roles spanning over 2 decades in Australia in various different sectors including Health, Media, Technology & Telecommunications
Working primarily  in the project and program space, moving into leadership and management roles and over the last few years into partnership and engagement roles
Moving to Australia at 23, married with 5 children (blended family) loving life and all that it brings 🙂



Feel the fear and move to Canada!

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So many firsts in Canada – fresh snow being one of the most joyous!

Words by Fiona Whitehead

The first time I recall ‘feeling the fear and doing it anyway’ was moving from Australia to Canada at the age of 22.

To put this in context – I had always lived at home even when at University. I had only been overseas once – 2 weeks in Bali with my best friend when I was 18.

I was terrified once I committed to going. How was I going to manage so far from everyone and everything I knew?

So why was I going?

As a child I read a lot. Books by LM Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables, Emily of New Moon) were some of my favourites and were set on Prince Edward Island off the east coast of Canada. I desperately wanted to visit.

At university I studied Radiation Therapy and I discovered that there was a world-wide shortage of this skill.

The final piece of the puzzle was being advised near the end of our intern year at Peter Mac (a cancer specialist hospital and the only place to practice Radiation Therapy in Melbourne at the time) that not all 25 interns would be offered jobs the next year.

Given a job was not guaranteed I decided it was time to implement my ”Move to Canada” plan.

We didn’t have email or internet access at that time (yes, I am of that era) so I wrote old fashioned snail-mail letters to all 19 Radiation Therapy departments across Canada, with my resume attached, asking if they had work.

As luck or fate would have it, the head of the Radiation Therapy Department at NEORCC (North Eastern Ontario Regional Cancer Center) had been on a 2-year exchange to Melbourne earlier in her career and liked the quality of the graduates she had seen. A quick call by Jane to some of her contacts still working at Peter Mac and I was offered the job! Not only was there no interview other than a call from Jane espousing the benefits of working at NEORCC, the employment offer included my flight and first month’s accommodation!

After a short period to consider, and chat to fellow Australians who had worked there previously, I accepted!

(I found out later that Sudbury had an image problem, and could not recruit many locals to work there. I was part of the 19 international staff in a team of 25!)

There was a time when I could have backed out gracefully- Peter Mac decided I was ranked highly enough among my peers for them to offer me a job, but I stuck with my plan.

It took about 6 weeks to get a visa, and arrange and hold my best friend’s wedding (how awesome is she to set the date so I could be there??), and be on my way.

During that 6 weeks I was full of fear. My method to avoid giving in to my fear and cancelling my move was to tell as many people as possible that I was leaving in order to make changing my mind harder than going! I was excited as well as scared. A long lived dream was coming true!

As I landed in Toronto a local started talking to me (no chance earlier – I am a plane sleeper) and asked where I was headed. When I said Sudbury his advice was to turn around right then and go back to Melbourne. That didn’t make me even more nervous… much!

I am glad to say I didn’t take his advice. Very glad.

From being picked up at the airport by my new boss – with a couple of bags of groceries ‘to get me started’ – to learning to cross country ski. From kayaking across lakes and seeing bears and moose in the wild to meeting amazing people who are still my lifelong friends. From my first snowfall to discovering what ‘plug in your car’ means. From learning that Domino’s Pizza delivers even in -50C to building my first snowman. Every experience was amazing. I have zero regrets.

So, was my first experience of stepping out of my comfort zone a big one? Probably. Would I do it again? I did 😊. Many times. But that is the subject of other blogs.

Welcome to “Climbing Lava”

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Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash

Words by Fiona Whitehead

This blog has been incubating for a while. I wanted to share my experiences of stepping out of my comfort zone. But in what format?  And would anyone be interested?  How many of my experiences were worthy of an entire blog post/podcast/vlog?  Would I run out of content in a matter of weeks?

Then I had 5 weeks of enforced rest and recuperation.  Otherwise known as time to read, think and plan.

What if I created a blog?  What if rather than just my own stories I shared experiences from other people?

What if on my return to work I asked colleagues if they wanted to share their stories?

What if I was humbled by the generous and open responses?

The answer to those last questions is this blog.

Climbing Lava is all about what happens when you step out of your comfort zone. Some of the stories will be mine, but mostly they will be other people telling their story to me and allowing me to share it.

Stepping out of your comfort zone can take many forms, and means different things to different people. One person’s small step is another person’s huge leap. Already I have been privileged enough to hear stories from across the spectrum.

Benefits of leaving your comfort zone can include discovering skills and resources you did not know you had. It can enable you to have new experiences. These new experiences may be growth opportunities. You may discover a new thing that brings you joy. Of course, you may just learn that whatever you tried is not for you, but even that is a learning! Many people have written about why getting out of your comfort zone is a good idea.

I hope you enjoy my different slant, where you can read about real life experiences of taking that step.

PS – If you have a story to share please contact me via the form on the contact us page.