Tag: #steppingoutofyourcomfortzone

Comfortable being Uncomfortable

Leave a comment
Words by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Drew
Image by me

I asked Drew if he would let me interview him when I heard him talk about being out of his comfort zone a lot, and he said it with joy!

Drew has many examples, but I will share today what he told me about his role as the Executive General Manager of High Performance at Cricket Australia.

Being approached for a role is not a new experience for Drew – winning Olympic gold medals makes you fairly high profile – but this one surprised him “I was called by one of our former athlete management representatives,  he rang me out of the blue and asked ‘What are you doing right now?’ And I said ‘I’m walking around the athletic field watching my son do cross country training’. And he clarified ‘what are you doing workwise”. The answer was rowing and coaching.

“He then asked would you consider another sport? And I said, ‘what sport’ and he goes ‘Cricket’.

“I didn’t know anything about the sport at all!”

Drew had no experience in cricket, none as a performance manager and had lost his job as head coach of the national rowing team just 12 months earlier.

But what he did have was a lifetime of being bold and giving things a go.

Drew credits his dad and his coaches with that approach to life “what I’ve been encouraged always do is stick your hand up have a crack at something, it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to make mistakes.”

Drew is also okay with not knowing and being open about that. “What I’ve worked out is it’s okay to show that you don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re not across it. But asking questions and that sort of stuff is what makes me feel more comfortable.”

He took on the role – trusting that the CEO, and athlete manager knew him well enough to be know if he was the right fit – and hope they would not judge his lack of cricket specific knowledge.

An unusual sense of optimism is one of Drew’s personality traits that enables him to take risks. But he also has a lot of self-awareness. Drew knows that he is more comfortable failing in front of strangers than people he knows “To go to a surf beach as a kid, where you don’t know anyone, but there are others surfing I felt relatively okay with giving that a go. But if I came to my local surf beach where I knew everyone on the water, I found my apprehension would go through the roof. And sometimes I would talk myself out of going in the water.

“What I’m suggesting here is we have to get to know ourselves first. Work out the things that either trigger us positively or negatively about a situation.”

Drew is also aware of his motivations – committing to at least one other person is a great way for Drew to not ignore his alarm in the morning!

When it comes to things like public speaking, Drew uses tactics learned as a rower to ground himself. “It didn’t make the nerves any better. But what I generally found was it meant that my mind was less active. And so the thoughts or self talk slowed down.

“The interesting thing about self talk is when your self doubts and your self talk really get magnified, and almost to the point where it’s sort of stopping you and debilitating. When I was rowing if you put your hand in the water, it’s amazing. If you just feel the viscosity, you feel a temperature and all that stuff. It’s like your mind can’t be anywhere else apart from feeling that and so it slows everything down. It just gets you away from the past, present, future dynamic, and also the positive, negative dynamic. It gets you into ‘it’s just water and just the temperature and it’s just the feeling’. It’s the same thing with breathing. I think breathing helps us in that way a lot. And so I find whenever I’ve got to lead a meeting, or do a presentation of any sort just taking a few deep breaths and centring yourself into you what really matters most now. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the anxiety or concern go away, but they go away enough to give you insight.”

Drew’s advice to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable is to start small. Try something new. That small change, being uncomfortable, gives you a new perspective and can be the catalyst for bigger changes. Maybe even a gold medal or three?

Thank you so much Drew!

A bit about Drew:

A life of passion for family, sport and adventures. Working in high performance is a gift and since transitioning as an athlete into my work life it’s been a privilege to engage with great people working to achieving great outcomes. 

Quietly Powerful

Leave a comment
Words by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Megumi
Image by me

Megumi began stepping out of her comfort zone at age 16 when she went on a foreign exchange from Japan to Canada. In this example and in others she found herself being pulled out of her comfort zone by external influences. But that was not always the case.

Driven by her own experiences as a naturally quiet person and a minority (the only Asian, the only woman, or the only Asian woman was common for Megumi), Megumi began the Quietly Powerful movement.

“Starting the quietly powerful movement was a big deal to me. Because naturally I am quieter, and I don’t particularly like being the centre of attention. I still remember when I first sent out an email to a group of people that I knew saying ‘I’m going to do this would you like to come along to a breakfast’. That’s how I started – just a very small public breakfast. I had 15 people, and it booked up so quickly that I had to organise another two or three straight off. So that was really interesting. But again, completely outside my comfort zone. I was so scared.”

Given this was a huge step outside Megumi’s comfort zone I asked her what motivated her to do it “So probably two or three years before I was heavily influenced by Susan Cain’s ‘quiet’. And I’ve seen some other people write about introversion, but then I thought it’s not just about introversion. I’d be with clients and senior leaders who are typically white men. That also caused me to feel somewhat shy to speak up. There’s my upbringing as well – I was always a quiet kid and being Japanese added to the mix. So there’s lots of different things that added to my quiet nature.

“One of the reasons that drove me was I just kept on hearing stories from people about how they got overlooked and these are very, very talented people. I still remember one situation where I had a colleague who I knew reasonably well, I saw her as a very influential person working with very senior leaders. And I heard secondhand after she went to a leadership assessment centre and she came back and got told she had no leadership potential. She used to work on transformation with 150 senior leaders in our division. And she made things happen. And I thought, you cannot measure that kind of influence over multiple months and years in a one-day assessment and to be told she has no leadership potential was absolutely ridiculous. And so that was one of the catalysts.”

Megumi also shared a personal experience about shifting from having noisy inner critics about being a quieter facilitator to learning firsthand how different facilitation styles can complement each other. She started owning her quieter approach and using it as a strength.

“Combining all those – I wanted to help others who felt like they were overlooked or disempowered to find that strength within. And then as a leadership and culture consultant, I just thought organizations and society at large, we’re missing out on a whole lot of talent if they don’t really understand and appreciate this quieter style of leadership.”

And Quietly Powerful was born!

Every time Megumi stepped out of her comfort zone, she gained confidence. Every time she survived and ‘didn’t fall in a heap’ gave her confidence the next time she was in a new situation.

And for people thinking about stepping out of their comfort zone?

“I would ask them to think about their ‘why’ first. If you’re stepping out of your comfort zone because you’re being told to do so by somebody else, that’s not going to give you the energy or resilience. I think if it’s something that you want to do and you feel pulled towards doing something that is outside your comfort zone, absolutely. Go for it. And give it your best shot. And don’t worry if it fails. Take an experimental approach. Have a go and if it doesn’t work, try something else or try a different approach.

“That was the case for me with the quietly powerful movement. When I sent out that invitation to the breakfast I thought ‘okay, it’s possible nobody would want to come’. I had this thought ‘What if people just think it’s really dumb?’ I thought I can treat it as an experiment. Try it. If it doesn’t work, do something else. I gave myself some room to fail and room to be okay with that. I think that helps when you try and do something.”

Megumi thank you for your words of wisdom, and for stepping out of your comfort zone to start the Quietly Powerful movement!

About Megumi:

Megumi is an author, speaker and consultant in leadership and culture, with a background in strategy, economics and finance. With a client list including Ernst & Young, JBWere, National Australia Bank, Roche, State and Federal Government Departments, smaller for-profit and not-for-profit organisations, Megumi helps leaders and organisations to unlock their hidden talents. She is the author of Quietly Powerful: How your quiet nature is your hidden leadership strength released in November 2019 and Start inspiring, stop driving: Unlock your team’s potential to outperform and grow.

In the uncertain, changing, global and inter-connected world, Megumi believes that the ‘alpha’ or ‘hero’ leadership style alone is outdated and inadequate. Quietly Powerful expands the definition of what good leadership looks, sounds and feels like and empowers quieter professionals and those outside majority groups to fulfil their leadership potential.

Her work has helped people to develop a quietly confident presence to be heard and have impact. Megumi’s ideas and approach have resonated with many (not just introverts) wanting to develop a calm, inner confidence to make the unique contribution they were born to make. Organisations are benefitting from harnessing their hidden talent and lifting their leaders’ effectiveness by using quieter approaches.

Our own version of success

Leave a comment
Words by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Nada
Image by me

Nada talked to me about stepping out of her comfort zone to find a career that aligned more closely to her values. “I think it’s so important to plan your career from the right place and not to be restricted by someone else’s version of success. I think it’s so important to really define our own version of what success means. Create that vision. Often, it’s that lack of clarity and vision that keeps us stuck. So, it’s important to create the vision of the future we want to create, and then to empower ourselves and give ourselves permission to create it.”

And Nada did just that!

“I think the biggest time I stepped out of my comfort zone was leaving the security of a well-established career and corporate role when I decided to start my own business – very much a leap of faith.”

Nada started her career as an accountant, but gradually realised that her interest lay in people not numbers! She was able to move into people and company management roles, but “I realised that companies don’t always have the person’s best interest in mind when it comes to development. I saw poor leadership practices, for example, and wanted to develop these people as leaders. But I was not able to do that. Because as long as they’re bringing in the money, it doesn’t matter if they’re burning people and there is a revolving door of new hires and departures”

Having people’s best interests at the core of what she did was the driver behind Nada’s move to starting her career as a career development and transition consultant.

“One of my passions was also helping people make the transitions from technical roles to leadership roles. It’s not just a simple step of you’ve been really great at your job, well we’re going to reward you now. It doesn’t work that way unless there’s some extra work put in developing the people skills. Helping people to find their alignment because of my long career journey of finding my way from numbers to people.

“And it’s been a long hard road because I didn’t really have that advice available. I didn’t have that support available to help me even develop my self-awareness in terms of what are my strengths? What are my natural preferences? It was really hard to identify what’s the true me versus the ‘shoulds’ of this is a good profession or this is a good organisation.

“Letting go of that security blanket, stepping out of that comfort zone was a really big leap of faith, as I said, but a very rewarding one. Because it has given me the freedom and the ability to do things my way, to pursue what really lights me up, but also to see that reward of lighting other people up and helping them to elevate themselves.”

Some of the benefits (aside from finding alignment between her values and her work) Nada found stepping out of her comfort zone include increased self-belief and also realising the awesome determination to succeed that was a central part of her nature.

Nada also had some great insights into how careers are different in the modern day “Because we just can’t rely on going to uni, learning a set of skills and we’re set for life in our career. We can’t tie our self-identity to that role or to that organisation. Because they’re not guaranteed. So it’s critical we invest this time in self-development and self-awareness, in understanding and even treating ourselves as the CEO of our own careers, not leaving it up to someone else, and not leaving it up to chance where we end up, where we drift.

“I think stepping out of your comfort zone is going to be the new normal.”

You can find out more about Nada’s work at www.elevateme.com.au, or reach out to Nada on www.linkedin.com/in/nadamatijevic if you’re struggling with your own career challenge.

Thank you Nada

No Limits!

Leave a comment
Image by me (Fiona)
Words by me, based on an interview with Jessy.

Imagine, if you will, putting a post on linked in that was a bit out of our comfort zone. A sensitive topic. And going to bed pleased that it had 10 likes instead of your typical 2 or 3…

Then imagine waking up the next morning to 150,000 views!

And within 3 weeks that post had been seen by 19 million people.

At the time I am writing this, Jessy has had almost 600,000 likes and almost 40,000 comments on that post. She has over 11,000 followers.

In her own words “it changed my life and opened me up to things that I just what didn’t necessarily have before”.

Jessy grew up in a small town and had grown up feeling quite alone and without much support. She went through some awful experiences as an adult. Jessy told me “I’ve never ever felt in my life, like I had friends and for the first time in my life, I do”.

Stepping out of her comfort zone had been a ‘one day’ thing for Jessy “Oh, it’d be nice to do one day. I’ll do it when time permits. I would love to be a bit more bold.”

The LinkedIn post in question was not something Jessy planned. She wrote from her heart, and that comes through in her words.

Jessy is using the platform she now has to “let other people live their truth and be proud of who they are. I want people to feel empowered, to trust themselves, to bet on themselves. And to really promote that self love. The best way I can describe it is that I truly believe that when you start feeling happier about yourself, your capabilities, and your self worth, I truly believe that that flows onto how you feel about other people and how you want other people to succeed. So I’m very much about holding accountability, holding ourselves accountable for our own happiness and our own successes.” The passion and care in Jessy shone brightly as she described her goals to me.

I asked Jessy what had changed for her in the past 3 weeks “the biggest thing for me has been that I wake up every morning and I’m so excited. I’m so excited to create content. I’m constantly making new videos, having conversations, writing blog posts. I just want to start now!

“My life has changed because I feel like, for the first time ever, now is the time that I can do something. I’ve met some amazing people with some amazing stories and my life is forever better for it. 

“I’m constantly growing and I do enjoy learning and developing myself as a person, but I never realised how much I loved hearing and learning about other people until now. So I’m very excited!”

Jessy also learned that she is a lot tougher than she thought! She was scared to post her story for fear people would agree with those that had bullied her. “Actually, I have had that. Of course, you’re not going to get a post be viewed by so many people and not get any negativity, and I have had that. But I’ve realised that I can take a lot more than I can thought. For example (really sorry about my language) I had a message yesterday from someone saying ‘yeah, but you’re an effing fat whale.’

“I think that two weeks ago, I would have been so crushed by that. But now I’m thinking, actually, you’ve gone out of your way to do that! I’ve clearly made you feel something. So therefore my message is still correct, that people need to start making other people uncomfortable, so that things can start improving.”

As always, I asked Jessy for advice for someone thinking about stepping out of their comfort zone “In terms of stepping out of your comfort zone. I genuinely believe that it can go good or it can go bad, but it’s only going to go as bad as you let it. I don’t mean to sound so corny, but everything is a lesson. I think it’s the attitude that is really important. And if you’re going to go all that way, stepping out of your comfort zone, you may as well make it so epic, that you are so proud of it.”

Jessy admitted her answer today is different than it would have been to w weeks ago, but it included “Do it!

“If it hadn’t worked out, I think I wouldn’t have been that worse off.”

Self-limiting beliefs hold people back and “And so that’s why you should step out of your comfort zone and you should do things that scare you or is not normal for you. Because then it helps you grow as a person and helps you realise what your limitations are. You can start pushing them and really the only thing you’re doing is opening yourself up to more new opportunities.”

Thank you, Jessy,!

A bit about Jessy:

Jessy is a Marketing professional embarking on a self love journey and looking for others to join her. She started The Emotion Exchange as a safe place for professionals to gather together to learn, grow and empower each other. Jessy hopes that within the group everyone is able to share their experience and expertise, change the stigma of emotions and tears to be turned into a positive and allow professionals to grow into the leaders they deserve to be.

https://www.linkedin.com/groups/8952417

Invisible Expectations

Leave a comment
Words by me based on an interview with Carly.
Image by me (Fiona)

Carly reflected on comfort zones and what they mean when I invited her to be interviewed for this blog. “I was thinking about my experience and what is the comfort zone. And more to the point, why do we call it a comfort zone because it’s really not a comfortable place to be? 

“And having the courage to make a change or try something in a different way might feel a bit challenging or uncomfortable or scary before we take the plunge. But as soon as you take that first step, you feel really liberated and energised. And it’s almost like a return to who you really are. I feel like that’s the difference between living and existing.”

Carly’s experience that she chose to share was her decision to take a break from alcohol “I had found myself in a place where I was really unhappy. And I felt like I was sort of stuck in a rut where I was working really hard all week – working long hours in quite an intense, stressful role.

“Then the weekend would come and I couldn’t wait to get out of the office and go and have a drink with friends and then I’d party through the weekend, and then Monday would come and I’d be back at square one.

“I was ‘healthy’ by societal standards, I wasn’t drinking every night, I wasn’t considered an alcoholic. But looking back, it wasn’t a healthy way of living at all”

A traumatic event found Carly reflecting on how she was living her life and she came to the conclusion that alcohol was holding her back. “Then I started to think ‘Alright, well maybe I’ll just have a break’ I didn’t set out to stop drinking for a week or a month or three months – there were no rules. I decided that I would have a break and see how that felt.”

Making that decision brought up a lot of uncomfortable questions for Carly “You’ve got this dinner with these people – so how do I do that? Or we’ve got that work thing. And then questioning – do you do you really have to drink at those events? Because I would always have thought ‘Yeah, of course I do.’

“And that’s how we operate in society, in the circles that I was in, my family and in my workplaces. It made me realise not only how normalised it was, but also had me questioning whether there was a bit of identity wrapped up in that.

“So, who am I if I’m not that fun party girl? Who am I if I’m not this person who drinks socially? And how is that going to be perceived?

“I also realised that under that there was a bit of fear of being seen in a different way, or a fear of letting that go. And then I realised how ridiculous both of those things were.

“Wondering would my friends still want to hang out with me if I wasn’t going to be drinking, and realising how ridiculous that was.”

Carly decided to just try it. No rules made, more experimental, an exploration, something that took courage in stepping away from the comfort zone and what was considered ‘normal’.

“I was quite amazed after getting past those initial ‘challenges’ that they were really not real. And I wasn’t held to anything. And realising that I did still enjoy that lunch. And people did still talk to me at the at the work event, the wedding, the social event. And furthermore, there was now a more valuable conversation to be had.”

Carly found that this step out of her comfort zone had a ripple effect of choices that were made from a place of selfcare – decisions that have led to a new job, a new home, and a deeper connection with nature and exercise.

She also started questioning the unspoken expectations – from something as simple as leaving a dinner when you are tired rather than waiting for an ‘acceptable’ time to leave.

For people considering a step out of their comfort zone Carly has this advice “It comes down to connecting to the meaning and purpose behind what you’re doing and what that means to you, and who you really are. Because if you’re stepping out of your comfort zone for you, then the minute that you take that step, it’s going to feel completely liberating, and you’ll feel supported and so free and alive. You’ll be completely energised and you’ll never look back.

“But I think if you were stepping out of your comfort zone out of pressure or out of expectation, or because you feel that you ‘should’ do something for someone else – I don’t know how that will go. It probably would not feel as true”

Carly finished with a reminder that the comfort zone may be familiar – but it is not really that comfortable! And she raised an enquiry: “Why is it that we seek comfort over personal growth?”

Interviewing for my blog

2 Comments
Words and Image by Me (Fiona)

Did you know that some of my early blog interviews were done via email?

I can’t imagine doing that now.

But at the time it was my alternative to an in-person interview.

And people quite liked the option of writing their considered answers.

What was missing was the connection I feel when interviewing someone. Hearing the story behind the words. Hearing the passion in their voice, or watching their face light up.

Also missing was the ability to ask different questions, to gain clarity on a point or even change direction.

Having said that, I have no regrets about doing written interviews. I probably would have had less people willing to be interviewed in those early days without that option. And they were also much easier for me to write up! No need to interpret the voice to text conversion.

I think that often in life and work we do things a certain way for a variety of reasons, then as we learn and grow, we change our approach.

Even my in-person interview technique has evolved.

Through trying to pick my words out of the quotes of my interviewee I learned to listen with my body not my mouth!

I learned that direct eye contact makes it hard for some people to feel comfortable sharing, so looking away from them can be better, and I learned to take my cue from the interviewee.

Discovering that some of the best stories come from asking for more about a point that was made instead of just moving to my next question meant that I listened harder for those gems.

My own reactions sometimes have to be stifled – especially my tendency to ponder on what was just said to me while the poor interviewee waits for my next question!

And I learned that a good interview and a good coaching session have a lot in common!

I hope my blogs have been improving as I get better at interviewing – my goal is to do justice to the amazing stories that are shared with me.

Get Messy

Leave a comment
Image by me (Fiona)
Words by me based on an interview with Stacey

Stacey loves to challenge herself! She says it comes from the example her Dad set.

“My Dad started his business when I was only a few years old. So I didn’t know anything different. He built it into a very successful company and sold it many years later.

Over the years, I saw the hard work and sacrifice. But he used to say how fun it was too!

I always knew I wanted to have my own business one day. My Dad was my inspiration. I was drawn to the freedom of being my own boss — I’m a very independent person and freedom is one of my biggest values.”

Despite the goal and inspiration being there from an early age, Stacey’s journey to becoming a business owner took many more years! She started out her career in the corporate world. An ambitious high-performer, she worked her way up into her first management role in her mid-20’s.

But as her 30’s approached Stacey gave herself a deadline!

She stepped out of her comfort zone, leaving her corporate job days before her 30th birthday with the goal of starting her own recruitment business.

Doing the right thing by her former employer, Stacey had a 6 month break. Being very risk averse, she also took the time to do her due diligence and make sure her business was financially viable before opening the doors.

Although her business quickly became a success, it wasn’t always easy. ‘I’m a very self-motivated person but I think it’s a real shock when you first step out on your own. You’re no longer accountable to a pay cheque, having to be at your desk at 8am each morning, a boss, or anything like that!”

5 years after starting her consulting business, Stacey began to feel like something was missing. “I wasn’t fulfilled by my work and knew I had to find something more meaningful.” After months of exploration, she retrained as a professional coach and pivoted her business!

“I’m naturally a very driven. I love to challenge myself and always want to do and achieve more. But it has to be aligned and fulfilling — I have to be energised, fired up and passionate about what I’m doing.”

Stacey finds being challenged helps her learn and grow — both of which are very important to her. “When I start to stagnate and feel that’s not there anymore, then I’m ready to take on the next challenge.”

I asked Stacey what advice she would give to someone considering a step out of their comfort zone and she shared “Ask yourself — ‘What have you got to lose? And how much more do you have to gain?’

“You can choose to stay where you are, playing it safe, doing what you’ve always done. Or, you can choose to step outside your comfort zone. It’s not going to be the easiest path and it will be scary — but the benefits far outweigh the initial fear.

“So, I would say take the leap — just do it.

“I’ve learned, particularly in recent years, that life is short — and it’s there to be lived. You can’t do that by staying in your comfort zone. You need to get uncomfortable, get messy sometimes to truly experience life and all it has to offer.”

Great advice Stacey — thank you!

Stacey Back — Profile Careers

Stacey Back is the Founder of Profile Careers and a professional coach + mentor to aspiring and early stage consultants. She helps them launch and grow their own consulting businesses and develop their careers. Stacey’s professional background includes ten years’ in consulting with international companies in Australia and the UK. After a career in corporate sales, HR and recruitment, she founded her own successful consulting business in 2013, before launching Profile Careers in 2018. For the past 12 years, Stacey has coached hundreds of professionals and entrepreneurs, supporting them to execute their professional goals. Her approach is highly strategic and based on the proven methods used successfully in her own career and business. She is passionate about sharing the lessons from her own journey to success to help others achieve the same

Starting my blog!

Leave a comment
Words and image by me (Fiona)

I often get asked about writing this blog – how I got started, why I got started, how I find people to interview.

So today I am going to write about some of those things.

I started the blog due to several questions that all led to a blog being the answer.

Firstly, I was on the possible redundancy list at work and someone on LinkedIn suggested that if I lost my job, I could go on the speaking circuit talking about agile and software testing. I was horrified! Not at public speaking, that appealed, but at talking about software testing which I had only recently moved on from after years of trying to move in a different direction. That got me thinking about what I could talk about. The only thing I felt passionate enough about at the time was (you guessed it!) ‘stepping out of your comfort zone’. But I didn’t think there would be an audience.

Secondly, I had some time off after some surgery and did a lot of reading. This included some books by Dorie Clark on networking for introverts as well as ways of standing out from the crowd – they included blogging as a way of making a name for yourself and asking people to be interviewed as a way of networking. But again, I had no subject to write about.

The last pieces of the puzzle came together in a conversation after a Christmas BBQ in 2018. A friend who was on the public speaking circuit himself told me that there would most definitely be an audience for the topic of ‘stepping out of your comfort zone’. We also discussed that writing a blog would give me content for speaking as well as a level of being an ‘authority’ on the topic.

Out of those events the thought came to me: ‘What if I wrote a blog about stepping out of your comfort zone, and instead of just my own stories I asked others to share theirs?’

My first step was to ask people if I they would share their stories. And was blown away by the number of people who said yes – keeping in mind that at this stage the blog did not exist! I also wrote a few of my own stories ready to post.

I decided I needed at least 10 blogs ready to post before I started, so if I got busy at work, I always had a backlog. I started off with such a backlog that I posted twice weekly for a while – a decision I regretted when the interviewees dried up.

Technically – I googled how to start a blog. I bought my domain name and set up a wordpress site. A dear friend agreed to do my artwork. That part did not take long and was not expensive. I did make some mistakes. I chose the wrong hosting platform initially (wrong as in their inclusions were poor and their help desk was really a sales desk). Trying to switch hosting platforms after buying a domain name from them made things more complicated than they needed to be.

The last area, and still the one I struggle with the most is finding people to interview! I ask on various platforms and I send direct requests (less often as that often involves making people feel bad if they say no). Sometimes people come to me either via referrals (thank you to all those who have referred someone!!) or they approaching me directly after reading my blog. I am open to suggestions as to how to do that part more effectively. These days I never seem to have a huge backlog!

I get joy in every single story I hear – regardless of whether it is a more relatable step out of the comfort zone or something ambitious and unattainable to most. I laugh and cry as I interview people, or just empathise strongly. I don’t ask a heap of questions; I prefer to let people talk with a few questions to help them tell their story.

I hope that answers your questions – and don’t forget to let me know if you have a story to share with me!

Understand your why

1 Comment
A waterbird sitting in the middle of a pool of water
Words by me (Fiona) based on an interview with Brian.
Image by me.

Brian didn’t feel that stepping out of his comfort zone was a choice. He had reached a point in his life where his high-powered career was costing him physically, emotionally and mentally. He had a tipping point at an international airport, and the story he shared is what happened after that.

As a little back story – Brian moved to Australia with his family as a transfer for the company he was working for in South Africa. Shortly after he arrived the dotcom crash meant he had to close his division! He continued on for 12 months before moving to an IT security business where he moved from ops director to COO to being part of running the Asian arm of the company. By this point he was away more than home, and this was having an impact on his relationships with his family and others.

It was sitting in Bangalore airport that Brian found himself silently crying – pointed out to him by a stranger! “And I’m embarrassed to say that I now realize I was having an emotional breakdown in Bangalore airport. And that I was living an unaligned and therefore unsustainable life. I was getting paid a lot of money but I was disconnected from family and friends. I was unhealthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and it just all came to a head.”

Brian feels that, since then, the next 12 years has included two parallel journeys – one above the line and one below the line. The below the line journey was about better understanding his struggle with anxiety and depression and being able to manage ‘it’, rather than ‘it’ continuing to manage him. The above the line journey was all about “becoming the person I was designed to be. We all are unique. And it’s about really trying to understand how that all comes together into some sort of uniqueness”. This above the line journey has led to Brian becoming an ‘Alignment and Movement Strategist’.

Some of Brian’s above the line journey was accidental. An offer of a senior position at a big company fell through at the last minute. Taking that job would have led to a different outcome “I don’t think I would have survived. I know it wasn’t right for me.

“Increasingly though, I am living a life of increased intentionality, and a lot of what I help my clients to do is live more intentionally too.”

Six years ago, Brian started his own practice, as an Alignment and Movement Strategist, and has not looked back!

His advice for anyone planning – or being forced – to move out of their comfort zone?

“Don’t do it alone. And be kind to yourself.”

Brian also reflected on using what you have experienced rather than always looking forward: “I find that leaders live in the future. It’s part of why they get paid. They’re thinking about what’s coming, what’s happening, preparing themselves, their teams, their business for the future. I think the mindfulness movement has been quite helpful in slowing people down and being more present. However, an area that I think leaders tend not to go is the past. Yet so much learning in the past. Take the time to learn from it.”

“If someone’s wanting to step out of their comfort zone I would love to explore why. And I would say what they want probably has something to do with their backstory and the past”.

“For me part of the intentionality thing is, what is it you are moving away from and what are you moving towards? And appreciating what you have now.”

Brian finished with some last words that I loved: “Really engage with your why!”

A little about Brian:
Brian describes himself an Alignment and Movement Strategist – working as a Mentor, an Executive Coach, a Facilitator, and is passionate about helping both organisations and individuals, operate in a more aligned, more sustainable and therefore more effective manner, with a strong sense of movement in the ‘right’ direction.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianrichardgardner