This week I spoke to Maddie, and I have the great honour of sharing another very personal story about stepping out of a comfort zone. 

Maddie explained that stepping out of her comfort zone was necessity, not choice. She believes that ‘’when we have that mindset of ‘we have to do this’ you’re more likely to do so’’. 

In 2017 Maddie came out as transgender, and she started with the huge step of telling her partner. To be able to get through this major step she called her partner and then sent an SMS while on the phone as she could not bring herself to say the words. Maddie’s partner at the time was “quite supportive” in her words. 

I asked Maddie about what she went through before she told anyone, and she said for a while she had specific thoughts and feelings about “wanting to be pretty and being able to express that side of herself”. Initially Maddie didn’t know that how she felt was deeply embedded, and described as transgender, she just knew that she had to be true to how she was. 

Coming out to her mum and family was the hardest for her. Maddie had mentally and emotionally prepared to tell her mum on a shopping trip, and ironically her mum spent a lot of the day on the phone! Anxiously waiting until her mum got off the phone, they were on the way home and Maddie couldn’t help blurting it out! After taking a day to process everything, her mum started worrying about how this would impact Maddie. At one point hoping she could be a drag queen instead (Maddie tells me she is definitely not a performer!). Since then, “Mum has definitely been the star. She’s definitely been the best support that I’ve had. She helps me buy shoes and knows what dresses look good. I feel like I’m very lucky to have a good mum.” 

Getting pronouns correct seems to be the hardest part for most people, other than that Maddie has been really pleased with how everyone has adapted. She loved legally changing her name. She worked in a small team at the time and when the system updated someone called out “who is Maddie?” By this time Maddie was confident about telling her colleagues as she had done this a few times already – but the fear of someone reacting wrongly never completely goes away. 

Maddie still has tough times, gender dysphoria being one of the hardest things to deal with, but she wanted to focus on the positives for this interview (though she was happy to answer all my many questions!). I asked Maddie what was the best part, and her answer was quickly “Definitely wearing the dresses!”, but also getting joy from being accepted and allowed to be herself. “I still get a little bit giddy when a friend gets a pronoun right, or seeing ‘Maddie’ in my email signature. It took a lot to get all that stuff, and it took ages to decide the name!” 

Being true to herself has enabled her to become more confident and put herself out there more – aiding a youth group on her weekends, advocating for causes such as ‘Wear It Purple’ and organising events in the workplace. 

The good days are slowly outnumbering the dysphoric ones. The best days being when she almost forgets she is transgender! 

Maddie’s final notes were “Thankfully, my coming out, and leaving my own comfort zone, meant that I didn’t have to go through it alone – I’m spoilt with support from family, friends and co-workers that I don’t have to worry. I knew that I had to eventually, and I’m relieved I did it earlier rather than later.” 

“If anyone out there is hesitating to leave their comfort zone, as soon as you’re ready, try having the mindset of ‘I need to do this’ – depending on your situation, it might be easier to imagine the scenario if you don’t try.” 

“Lastly, for anyone going through something similar, I’m more than happy to pay it forward and help support you, even if it’s just a chat – email me at maddie.sumner@team.telstra.com” 

About Maddie: 

“Maddie Sumner has recently joined Telstra as part of the Graduate Program, leaving her last job to continue learning new technologies. She studied at Swinburne University, under the Bachelor of IT scholarship program. 

Beginning her career whilst changing her identity has encouraged her to reach out and participate in additional activities; such as running a youth group, becoming an executive member of ‘Wear It Purple’s Melbourne team, and leading the D&I team at her last workplace. 

Maddie is a proud member of Telstra’s ‘Spectrum’ network – a yammer group for all LGBT+ and allies within Telstra.”